


When I'm Not With You I'm Weaker

by niallszayn



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, bit of ot5 thrown in now and then, i'm rubbish at tagging things i'll stop now, lots of angst too, mentions of smut but i haven't actually written any yet, side larry - Freeform, teacher!zayn/student!niall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-26
Updated: 2014-02-10
Packaged: 2018-01-02 17:33:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 28,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1059620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niallszayn/pseuds/niallszayn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Falling for Zayn didn't take Niall very long, and he just expected everything to stay as easy as it was over summer. Or at least not to get that complicated, but still, the whole universe seemed to be working against them. And it all started because they didn't talk about Zayn's job enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Start

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first longer ziall fic and I'm quite nervous about posting it on here, but I hope you like it!
> 
> This isn't beta'd or anything and English isn't my first language, so I apologize for possible mistakes in advance.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own One Direction or any of the characters. Title is from One Direction's new song Strong.

Niall got into the little car of the roller coaster, still chuckling about a joke his friend Louis had made. Being the fifth wheel of a group sucked, especially if you were going on a roller coaster ride that required pairing up, but Niall didn't mind too much. He was happy his friends were happily in love and having no one next to you screaming into your ear had its perks too. 

Except he didn't stay alone. 

A guy got in next to him and Niall had trouble not letting his jaw fall.  

That guy was  _hot_. He looked a bit older than him, not by much though. He was quite tan, Niall thought he might have Indian or Pakistani roots. His hair was black, as was his stubble. Niall liked stubble on men  _very_  much. 

"Hi" the man said and his velvety voice sent shivers down Niall's spine. 

He blinked. How long had he been staring? Had he been very obvious?  _Talk_ , he thought to himself. 

"Um, hi" he said.  _Way to sound interesting and grown-up_. 

"See something interesting?"  _Why are his cheekbones so defined and his nose so straight?_  

Niall coughed. "Um...maybe?" 

The boy laughed and Niall felt his stomach lurch even though the roller coaster hadn't taken off yet.  _His teeth are perfect too_. 

"I'm Zayn." 

 _Did he just...?_  "Niall" Niall said and tried not to sound as breathless as he felt. 

"Nice to meet you, Niall. You're the fifth wheel too?" 

"Yeah...My friends are sickenly cute couples." 

"Same here. I'm lucky I get to sit next to you, though." 

"Why's that?" 

"Because you're cute." 

Niall laughed nervously. He felt his stomach flutter again. _What's going on?_  

"Thanks. You're not so bad yourself." 

"Bloody hell, that must've been the nicest compliment I've ever gotten." 

Niall elbowed him, surprising himself with that action. He didn't usually elbow random strangers on a roller coaster. "I can't just tell a stranger I think he's hot." 

"I just told a stranger I think he's cute. So you think I'm hot?" 

"Well...yeah. You are." 

Zayn grinned at him. The way his eyes crinkled made Niall's heart beat faster. 

The little car rocked and then started moving. 

"Are you afraid of roller coasters?" Niall asked.  _Be bold_. 

"Wouldn't it be stupid to go on one if I were?" 

"If you were, I could hold your hand though. Just saying."  _Hot guy flirting with you. Make use of it_. 

Zayn gaped at him. "You could hold it just in case I do get scared?" 

Niall grinned and held out his hand. Zayn took it and entwined their fingers, smiling at Niall in a way that made his breath hitch. Or maybe that was because of how perfectly their fingers actually fit together. Zayn's hand was warm and Niall was really enjoying the way his long fingers felt on his. He couldn't actually concentrate on the ride at all, too enthralled by their entwined fingers. 

When the ride came to an end the hoop holding them in place went up, they had to let go of each other. Both Zayn and Niall got up reluctantly. 

"See you around, maybe?" Niall asked hesitantly. 

"I just moved here, so I'm sure we'll meet again", Zayn smiled. "Who knows, maybe even tonight." 

And just like that, he was gone. 

"Well, well, well." Niall turned around to find Louis approaching him, dragging Harry with him. "Who was that you were talking to so intensely, Mr Horan?" 

Niall blushed. "Nobody." 

"Ni, even I can tell that you blushing doesn't mean "nobody"", Harry chuckled. 

"I've never seen him before" Niall said defensively. 

"But you're gonna see him again?" 

"Probably not" Niall said, and the thought that he might be telling the truth made him very sad. 

"Was he hot?" Louis asked. 

"Oh, yeah." 

"Well then you should try to find him again, shouldn't you?" 

"What are you lads talking about? Teasing Niall again?" Niall sighed relieved. Liam had arrived. Liam always saved him from Louis. 

"He met a hot guy and doesn't think he'll see him again." 

"Well that's mainly Niall's decision, isn't it? Let's go try out the other rides, shall we?" Niall sent Liam a thankful smile. 

Niall loved his friends, he really did, but sometimes it was quite hard putting up with all of them at the same time. 

Harry and Liam had been his best friends since they met in nursery school, when they were 4. He had met Louis when he started playing footie when he was 8. Louis was almost three years older than him but it hadn't taken them very long to become friends because they were both loud children who liked playing pranks on the rest of the team. 

Niall had first introduced Louis to the other two on his 16th birthday, when he invited all of his friends over for a big party. They had all hit it off very quickly and had since been inseparable, especially since Harry and Louis had started dating almost a year ago. 

Liam also often brought Danielle, his girlfriend of two years, along and she liked them all enough to be okay with being the only girl most of the time.  

Just as Niall was fine with being the only single one. 

Unless he had just met a very handsome and flirty stranger who held his hand for five minutes and then just vanished.  

Niall couldn't really enjoy the other rides, they just lacked that special something....or maybe someone. 

He tried his best though, laughing along with the others, joining in on everything they did. Still, he could feel Liam's eyes on him, probably trying to find out if his help was needed. 

When the others wanted to go on the Ferris wheel though, he decided it was time for him to leave. That was too romantic to be doing it as a single guy with two couples. Besides, it was already late enough for him to leave without causing suspicion. 

He said goodbye to his friends and left them doing their couple-y stuff. 

Niall decided to take the route leading across the whole ground of the fair. He did like the yearly summer fair that took place in his city, it was a great thing for families and young people, basically everyone who wanted to enjoy a nice day or night out. 

It was a mild mid-august night and Niall wasn't cold in his black and white varsity jacket. He walked along the colourful booths, hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans, just breathing in the scent of popcorn, people and summer. 

"Hey, stranger" a deep voice said behind him. 

Niall spun around.  _Could it be...?_   

Yes. There he was. Zayn stood right behind him, wearing a jeans jacket now and looking just as good as Niall remembered. So his mind hadn't played tricks on him. 

"Didn't think I'd see you again so soon" he said, trying to sound casual. 

"I told you it might happen."  

"Are you trying to tell me you're psychic?" 

Zayn laughed. "Would you still talk to me if I were?" 

"Wait-" 

"No, Niall, I'm not psychic" Zayn said, laughing again. Niall wished he would just continue forever. It was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. "I was just hoping I'd see you again. And when I saw that blonde head of yours whizzing past me, I thought I'd just take a chance." 

"I'm flattered" Niall said, only half joking. His stomach did that weird thing again, hearing that Zayn had hoped to see him again. 

"Well, you let me hold your hand on a roller coaster."  

They both laughed.  

"So where are you headed now? Where are your friends?" Zayn asked. 

"Left them to do whatever couples do. I was just going to head home, actually. What about you?" 

"Same here. They're not really friends anyway, just people my parents introduced me to. And since I don't know anyone else here yet..." Niall nodded understanding. "How do you feel about me walking you home?" 

Niall felt a big grin spread over his face. "I'd like that very much." 

Zayn smiled back. "Lead the way." 

Niall started walking until he felt a hand on his wrist. "You know" Zayn said directly in his ear, his breath tickling Niall's skin and making his heart hammer in his chest. "It might be easier if you held my hand again. Just to make sure I don't get lost." 

His hand slid down a bit and Niall willingly entwined their fingers. It still felt absolutely perfect. 

Both boys smiled at each other shyly and started walking again, hand in hand this time. 

"So, Niall" Zayn said. "Tell me about yourself. How old are you? You  _are_  legal right?" 

"Yup, I'm 18" Niall lied. One month didn't really make a difference right? He wasn't gonna let 35 days ruin his chances with the nicest - and hottest - guy he had ever met. 

"I'm 23. Is that too old for you?" 

"No" Niall said without knowing what exactly Zayn was asking with that question. He didn't think he was ready to have sex yet. 

Apart from a few sloppy handjobs with his first and - so far - only boyfriend Josh he didn't have any experience. 

"Good." A little squeeze on his hand and Niall was calm again. Zayn wasn't gonna pressure him into anything, he was sure about that. "So where are you from? You sound funny." 

Niall laughed. "Jesus, thank you. I sound funny! What a compliment!" This time it was Zayn's turn to elbow him in the ribs. "Okay, okay. I'm Irish. I've lived here for most of my life, but my whole family - apart from mum, dad and my brother - still lives in Ireland so I guess my accent just stuck." 

"You do sound funny though." 

Niall pouted at him and acted offended. 

Zayn laughed. "I'm sorry! Don't be mad, Ni. Is that a smile I see there?" His face was suddenly very close to Niall's and Niall wasn't sure his breath came regularly. Zayn was already calling him by his nickname. Niall couldn't hold back the smile for very long, how could he if Zayn was acting so cute just to get the pout off his face? 

"You know what, I really feel like having some candyfloss right now" Zayn said when they walked past a booth that sold sweets. "Share one with me?" 

And really, Niall couldn't say no to Zayn. 

After Zayn had paid for the candyfloss ("Don't even bother, it's on me"), they went on, still hand in hand, sharing the white mass of fluffy sugar. 

Niall was pretty sure this was what heaven felt like. 

Conversation flowed easy between them, and soon they had left the fair behind and were on their way to Niall's house. 

About halfway there, they finished the candyfloss and Zayn threw away the stick. He looked at Niall and started laughing. 

"What?" Niall asked, alarmed. 

"You've got candyfloss on your face" Zayn laughed. "There." 

Niall tried reaching the indicated spot with his tongue but failed miserably, which only made Zayn laugh harder. They stopped walking. 

"Stop laughing and tell me where it is" Niall said, playfully swatting the other boys' arm.  

Zayn straightened up. "It's right there, silly." His finger brushed against Niall's face and the blonde blushed, inwardly cursing his light skin. 

Zayn looked straight into his eyes. "It's not gonna go away that easily though, it's very sticky." 

Niall was sure his voice was deeper than before and his blush intensified.  

And then Zayn lent forward and licked his cheek.  

Niall's breath hitched and he was pretty sure his heart stopped beating for a second. 

It only lasted for a second though, then Zayn yanked his head back, looking at Niall wide-eyed. "I'm sorry, I..." he started. 

"It's okay" Niall said and what he actually meant was: "I really enjoyed that." 

He took a step forward until he was close enough to feel Zayn's breath on his face. He threaded two of his fingers through the belt loops of Zayn's jeans to pull him even closer, making sure to show Zayn how "okay" he actually was with the whole thing. 

Zayn looked at him, his gaze darting from Niall's eyes to his lips and back up. 

Niall deliberately licked his lips and tilted his head back a bit. He had wanted to kiss Zayn the whole night long, it was about time. 

Zayn's breath on his lips nearly drove him mad and a small sound escaped him, almost a whining. Zayn grinned and Niall could feel his hands splayed over his back. 

And then they finally kissed.  

Zayn's lips were sticky and tasted sweet from the candyfloss, but Niall could still feel how soft they actually were.  

He could hear his heart beating in his ears, feel Zayn's hands, one on his back, one on his neck and Zayn's  _lips_. 

The way they moved on his felt absolutely perfect and he never wanted to end this kiss. 

He wrapped his arms around Zayn's waist to get even closer to him and then he felt Zayn's tongue grazing his lower lip, sending shivers down his spine.  

He opened his lips just enough for Zayn's tongue to get past and if he had thought previously he was in heaven, he was pretty sure of it now. 

Zayn was the best kisser in the world. 

When they finally pulled apart they were both gasping for air, their lips red and even stickier than before. 

"You taste like candyfloss" Zayn said without letting go of Niall. 

"So do you" Niall replied, leaning his head on Zayn's shoulder.  

"You know" he said, "I never thought my night would turn out like this." 

"Neither did I. But I like it." 

Niall smiled up at him. "Me, too." 

Niall was happy that kissing hadn't changed anything between them, talking didn't become awkward or anything. The only difference was now, that they sometimes had to stop walking in order to kiss. Now and then someone would walk past and catcall or say something, but neither of them cared for anything but the other. 

Naturally, it took them more than twice as long as usual to get to Niall's house. 

"Here we are" Niall said when they did get there and turned to Zayn so they were facing each other, hands still entwined. 

"Well I guess it's time to talk about this then" Zayn said. "Just to make sure - would you like to see me again? I had a really great night and I'd hoped you would..." 

"Yes", Niall interrupted him. "Yes, I'd love to see you again. I had an amazing night too, you know." 

Zayn's smile was wide and happy. Pulling out his phone, he said "Type in your number and I'll give you a call, okay?" 

Niall did and then they kissed one - or maybe it was four? - more times before Niall went inside and watched Zayn walking away until he couldn't see him anymore. 

He had just gotten into bed, staring at the ceiling with a smile that felt like it could crack his face in half, when he heard his phone buzz.  

It was a text from an unknown number.  _Already can't wait to see you again. Sweet dreams._ _Zayn_ _x_  

Niall's smile widened even more. He quickly typed back: _Thx for_ _tnight_ _! T was_ _great_ _! Goodnight !_ _Xx_

And that was how it started. 

- 

Niall and Zayn saw each other every day throughout summer, spending every spare minute with each other. Those three weeks felt like a different world to Niall. Zayn understood him and that understanding grew bigger the more they learned about each other. Even if that meant Zayn finding out Niall had lied to him. It didn't take him long to connect the dots when Niall told him he was still in school, about to start his last year. 

"In school! Niall, I might start teaching people your age this year. Wait. Wait, Niall, are you really 18?" 

Niall blushed and hid his face on Zayn's chest. "Well, I will be in like two weeks." Zayn chuckled. "I'm sorry I lied to you. I just thought you'd never kiss me if I told you the truth." 

"I would've at least tried not to" Zayn agreed. 

"Does this change anything? You know, my age?" Niall asked, slightly afraid.  

"No, I'm too far gone for that and it's only two weeks now. Besides, it's too late anyway" he chuckled, looking down at Niall's head on his naked chest and their entangled limbs under the sheets. 

Niall kissed the spot on his chest where Zayn's heart was. "I wouldn't have let you go anyway." 

- 

The Monday after that was the day Niall had to go back to school, and Zayn had his first day at a school he had gotten a last minute job as a substitute English teacher at.  

Niall was feeling quite down, knowing that they might not see a lot of each other during the week. 

Harry and Liam teased him about his mood when he got to school and Niall was glad Louis wasn't still in school. He probably would've killed him by lunch. 

His friends had met Zayn twice in the month they had been dating and they got along with him quite well. Niall had still preferred to have Zayn to himself most of the time. 

And not being able to see Zayn now after a month of spending every spare minute with him sucked. A lot. 

After the first two hours Niall already had to tell himself constantly that this was his last year, that he'd be out of there in a couple of months. He didn't particularly enjoy school. 

He also constantly thought about Zayn. How was it possible to miss someone so quickly? But no matter what he did, everything reminded him of Zayn. A certain smell, a thing someone said, a song someone whistled. At one point he even thought he saw Zayn in the hallway and shook his head at himself. He was obviously going crazy. 

Third period was English (which made Niall think about Zayn too, because that was what Zayn taught) and Niall was resting his forehead on his arms, listening to the girls in front of him gossiping. 

"Well I think he's hot" one of them said. 

"Yeah, he's fit" the other one agreed. "But Charlotte told me the new English teacher is fit, too. She said the whole class was drooling over him." 

They both giggled. "I've always wanted a hot, young teacher. D'you think he'd tutor me?" Giggling again. 

Niall rolled his eyes. Girls. Why were they so annoying? 

"Nialler!" Harry yelled as he entered the room. "I told you to save me a seat!" 

"I did, are you blind?" yelled back. That's just how they had always been, the three of them. Loud, often annoying the other kids and the teacher. Liam a bit less than Harry and Niall, but he joined in most of the times anyway. 

A laughing Harry sat down next to him. "Hey have you heard about the hot new English teacher?" 

Niall sighed. "Not you, too." 

Liam plopped down next to Harry. "What's Harry doing?" 

"Everyone's gossiping about the new English teacher." 

"The hot one?" 

Niall almost laughed. "I bet he's not that hot after all and everyone's gonna be disappointed." 

"You're just saying because you've got the hottest English teacher all for yourself" Harry said. 

Niall smirked. "That I do." 

"Let's not start this again, okay? You're not talking about anything else but Zayn anymore" Harry said mock-annoyed. "Louis sent me this really funny video, you need to see this." 

The three boys bent their heads over Harry's phone and concentrated on the video that Harry found hilarious while Liam and Niall just looked at each other shaking their heads at their friend. 

"Oh shit" Liam suddenly said.  

"What?" Niall asked, turning to look at him. 

"Niall...try not to do anything stupid when you look in front now." 

Worried, Niall slowly turned his head to face front. 

And there, staring at him – his face visibly pale - in front of the whole class, stood Zayn. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. So what do you think so far? Feedback helps a lot! :) Thanks for reading! x


	2. Welcome to the real world

 

 

Niall could only stare back.

How could this be happening? How had they never even talked about which school Niall was going to or what exactly  Zayn's  new job was?

Why did they never even consider this possibility?

An elbow hitting his ribs brought Niall back to reality, and Liam's cough obviously did the same to  Zayn  because you could see him straightening up and trying to focus. Niall was very glad he had his friends.

" Mr  Malik"  Zayn  said after writing the same on the blackboard. "That's me, I guess." The whole class chuckled and Niall found himself  grinning too.  Zayn  was just too  cute . "I suppose you want to know what I'm doing here instead of a proper teacher. Well, I don't really know either, all I know is that your school needed a substitute teacher on short notice and I took the offer because I only just graduated  from university and life is tough as an English major." Some people laughed again. "So, I guess what I'm saying is that I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing and that I'd appreciate all of you going easy on me. I'm sure we can make this a fun year, then."

Despite of still being in shock Niall couldn't help but notice how good  Zayn  was at this. He stood in front of the class calmly and sure of himself. The way he talked showed that he wasn't too different from themselves but still someone to respect, and Niall was sure it  worked  with all of his classmates.

The there was the way he looked, of course. His black trousers and dark grey button-down shirt made him look professional, but both were just that tiny bit too tight that made it impossible for Niall not to think about what was under those clothes.

He thought of the tattooed heart he had kissed so many times, making  Zayn  writhe underneath him... Stop .

Niall shifted uncomfortably in his seat, causing Harry to elbow him again. "You need to stay professional here, Niall" he whispered.

Niall sighed and nodded.  Zayn noticed and looked over at him before quickly looking away again. This was going to be hard.

-

The lesson seemed to drag on forever and when it finally ended, Niall made sure he was the last one to gather all his things. After Harry and Liam left - nodding at  Zayn  as they  walked  past him - Niall was the only student left.

"Zayn" Niall said, standing in front of his boyfriend who somehow managed to look like his boyfriend and a different person altogether at the same time.

"Niall"  Zayn  replied and for a second Niall thought he was  gonna  kiss him, but of course that didn't happen.

"I - why did we never talk about what school I'm going to?!"

Zayn  laughed  humourlessly . "Why did we never even think of this as a possibility? This isn't such a big town, of course there was a chance I'd be teaching at your school."

"Zayn ...what does this mean for us now?" Niall hated how small and scared his voice sounded. He hated the fact he had to ask this question at all. He hated school and his age. He hated the fact that he couldn't just take Zayn somewhere no one cared about their ages or what jobs they had.

"Let's not talk about this here Niall, okay? We shouldn't be seen together."

Niall swallowed. "When are we gonna talk then? When am I gonna see you?"

"Just come over to mine after school" Zayn suggested. "And now go, before anyone wonders what you're doing."

No kiss, no hug, no touch, not even a proper smile. Niall really didn't want to admit how much that stung, so he just turned around and left.

All morning he kept cursing his luck. Why did he have to fall in love with the one guy that turned out to be his teacher? Because he did love Zayn, he had been thinking about it for a while and had been sure about it since he let Zayn take his virginity almost a week ago. He would've never trusted anyone else enough to go that far.

By lunch, Niall was absolutely devastated. "He's  gonna  break up with me" he sobbed, sitting in a remote corner of the school's outside area, worrying Liam and Harry very much. Niall  _never _ cried.  "I just know it, he's too good for this, he's not going to want to date a student. This is ruining everything, why is this shit happening to me?!"

"Niall" Liam said, wrapping his arm around the shaking boys' shoulders. ""He's not gonna break up with you. You said he wants to talk and that's what you two need to do. This is a difficult situation but if he means something to you, you gotta fight for that. Fight for  _him_."

"If he means something to me?" Niall looked up, his voice barely above a whisper. "He means  _everything _ to me, Liam. I fucking  _love _ him!"

Harry sat down next to Niall too. "You love him?" he repeated.

"Yeah." Niall hiccupped . "I'm in love with Zayn Malik."

Liam smiled tenderly. "Tell him, then. If he feels the same way about you, this isn't going to be that big of a problem after all."

"And what if he doesn't? Feel the same way, I mean."

Liam chuckled. "Have you seen the way he looks at you? He totally does."

Harry nodded for emphasis and Niall finally stopped crying. "You think so?" His voice already sounded a bit stronger.

"Definitely" Harry said.

-

When school finally ended, Niall's heart was pounding in his chest again. What was he gonna tell Zayn? 

Walking up the already familiar stairs to Zayn's flat, he felt his doubt coming back. What if Zayn didn't want to endanger his teaching career by dating a student? Was he even entitled to ask that of him? Did he  _want_ Zayn to? What if they got caught? It would be his fault if Zayn would never get a job again.

Niall stood in front of  Zayn's  door, not being able to knock. He had rung downstairs but if he turned around now Zayn would never know if it had really been him.

The door opened.

And there he was. Zayn.

"Niall" he breathed. "I was wondering what took you so long."

"I..."

"Would you come in, now? I don't like standing in the hallway."

Niall followed Zayn into the flat he had spent most of his summer at. If they hadn't been outside somewhere. What if someone had seen them? What if that someone recognized  Zayn now?

"Ni? What's going on? You look like you've seen a ghost." How could Zayn act as if nothing had happened? This was a big problem.

"What if someone saw us together?" he asked. "What if you get recognized? What if-"

Zayn grabbed his wrist, interrupting him. Niall flinched and took a step back. The hurt in Zayn's eyes hurt him as well, but he had made his decision. He wasn't going to endanger Zayn's career.

"Niall..."  Zayn sounded broken and it made Niall's eyes sting . "I understand if you don't want to continue this, I really do, but there's something you should know before-"

"Don't want this?" Niall interrupted him this time. "This is not about what I want or not, this is about making sure you become the teacher you want to be. I'm not going to ruin that by holding on to you."

"What?"  Zayn  asked. "What are you talking about?"

"If we get caught, you'll be fired and probably never get a proper job again and I don't want that for you, I've seen how good you are as a teacher and I know it's your dream and I don't want to take that from you. You deserve better. You deserve better than me." Sometime during his little speech he must've started crying and Niall hated himself for it, he didn't cry, he wasn't  _weak_ . He was going to be the bigger man here.

Zayn  stared at him, a strange expression on his face. "Better than you?" he repeated. " _Better than you?_ " His voice was raised now. "There is no one better than you, Niall! Don't you see that you are perfect? You are perfect in every way and I'd give up much more than my teaching career for you. Don't you see that?" His voice broke and he took a cautious step towards Niall. This time, Niall stayed where he was, listening to his heart pounding. "Don't leave me. Please don't leave me, baby."

Niall swallowed. This was definitely not what he had expected. "You don't want me to leave you alone?" His voice sounded small.

"I don't think I could be without you anymore."  Zayn  took another step towards Niall, getting close enough for Niall to inhale his familiar and comforting smell. 

"I love you." It was out before Niall could stop it, the words hanging between them like a cloud.

A few seconds passed without a sound besides their irregular breathing.

Then, a quiet whisper, like a breeze: "I love you too."

Shaking hands meeting between them, then a flurry of touch, trying to get closer,  _closer_ , never wanting to let go. Whispered words, desperate kisses, holding on tighter and still not getting close enough, the rustling of clothes being shed and then - together.

-

Later, when they were lying on  Zayn's  bed in their usual position - legs entangled, Niall's head on Zayn's chest, their arms keeping each other warm -  Zayn said into Niall's hair, where his face was buried: "There are a couple of things we need to talk about though."

"Hmm" Niall made sleepily.

"We can't interact in school outside of class, okay? No secret meetings and hidden touches. If we do that, I'm not going to be able to be subtle. We really need to keep our private life and school  separated."

Niall blinked, trying to fully wake up  again. "I think I can do that."

Zayn  chuckled. "I'm not so sure I can, yet, but we need to try. Because you were right with some aspects of what you said earlier. It'd be a lot better if we wouldn't be caught."

"Even after my 18th birthday."

"Even after that. You're still my student."

Niall suddenly laughed. "You know that we could be in a really cheap porn? A teacher fucking his student over the desk-"

"I'm not gonna do that"  Zayn  interrupted. "I really don't know what's going on in that pretty head of yours."

"Many not quite so pretty things" Niall grinned up at him.

Zayn pecked his lips. "Obviously." 

Niall's phone vibrated in the pocket of his jeans lying on the floor in the middle of the room. Sighing, he got up to fetch it.  _ Everything alright with the two of you? _  Liam had texted.

_ Perfect actually ! _  Niall typed back before getting back under the sheets.

"You know it's really not fair if you prance around naked like that"  Zayn said and kissed him.

"I'm not sorry" Niall replied and pulled him closer.

His phone vibrated again.

"Ignore it"  Zayn said and hooked his leg over Niall's hip.

It vibrated again.

Niall let his hand glide down Zayn's chest and watched the way his pupils widened and his breath quickened.

The phone vibrated once more. Zayn sighed. "Take a look. It could be important."

_ I take it you had sex _

_ Get decent we're coming over _

_ Seriously we'll be there in 10 minutes and I don't want to be scarred for life _

Niall sighed and laughed a bit. "It's Louis. They'll be here in 10 minutes."

Zayn  buried his head in Niall's shoulder. "I take it no round 2 then?"

"Maybe tonight" Niall said cheekily and kissed his temple. "Now let's take a shower."

-

When they emerged from the shower 20 minutes later, the skin on their fingers slightly wrinkled and matching sated grins on their faces, everyone could've told what they had been doing. So it was no surprise that the first thing Louis said when they opened the door and he took a look at their attire - both wearing a pair of  Zayn's  sweatpants and soft sweaters - was: "You just had shower sex, am I right?"

Niall blushed furiously and Harry elbowed his boyfriend in the ribs. "Stop embarrassing them. They just went through the first difficult thing in their relationship. Welcome to the real world, guys."

Niall groaned. "Can we uninvite them?" he asked, turning to Zayn.

"They're your friends, love. But I quite like them, so you can't expect me to throw them out."

Harry, Louis and Liam exchanged a look when Zayn said "love" - which Niall did notice - but thankfully neither of them said anything.

"Alright" Niall said defeated. "Come in then."

Zayn went to mak e tea and Niall's friends sat down on the two sofas in Zayn's living room. Niall looked at them and then went to join Zayn in the kitchen.

For a second he only watched Zayn standing next to the kettle waiting for the water to boil. Then he walked up to him and wrapped his arms around his boyfriends waist from behind, resting his chin on Zayn's shoulder. Almost automatically, Zayn's hands came up to entwine with Niall's on his stomach.

Niall could almost feel Zayn's smile, without being able to actually see his face.

"You know" he said quietly. "I would've really enjoyed an afternoon with just you, but I think it's so great how you try to get to know my friends too."

"Well, if they like you, I automatically like them too"  Zayn replied just as softly. He turned around and wrapped his arms around the smaller boy.

Niall tilted his head back to look at Zayn and it just so happened to be the perfect angle to press a kiss to Zayn's chin. Which led to Zayn tilting his head down a bit to kiss him properly. And then apparently they both got lost in the kiss a bit because suddenly Niall was sitting on the counter, Zayn standing between his legs and they were still kissing -

"Stop snogging in the kitchen and bring us the tea!" Louis yelled from the other room and the two boys pulled apart, matching sheepish looks on their faces.

"Coming! And we weren't snogging!" Niall yelled back.

The response were three snorts. "As if."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, chapter 2! Sorry for blatantly avoiding writing smut if you were looking forward to that...I just can't write smut. Like at all. What did you think? x


	3. Things change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is sort of a filler most of the time, lots of random stuff happening. But I needed it to get to where I want this to go. Also, sorry you had to wait longer this time, but life's busy so it might happen again...  
> Hope you like it :) x

"So are we supposed to call you Mr Malik now or can we stick to Zayn?" Liam asked as Zayn and Niall walked into the room, successfully preventing Louis from saying anything inappropriate, which he would’ve done as Niall knew well enough. 

"If you call me Mr Malik in my own flat I'm gonna have to let Niall uninvite you" Zayn grinned and sat down on the only seat left on the sofa, pulling a surprised and pleased Niall onto his lap. "If you call me Zayn in school though, I might even have to uninvite you myself." 

And that was how Niall found out that cuddling your boyfriend in a spot that should be too small for two people while listening to your friends' bad jokes was actually the best way ever to spend an afternoon. 

- 

Watching Zayn teach turned out not to be as easy as Niall had thought. He had to concentrate on so many things, starting with the small stuff like not laughing too much about his jokes or teasing him about when he did something wrong. It was also really difficult remembering to only call him 'Mr Malik' and never addressing him with his first name or - even worse - a pet name.  

Then sometimes, Niall would find himself just staring at Zayn until Harry elbowed him in the ribs. Hard. 

Sometimes, when Zayn handed out sheets, their hands would touch and they'd just stare at each other for a couple of seconds and all Niall wanted to do was touch  _more,_ and the look in Zayn's eyes gave him away too.  

Often it was either Harry or Liam saving the situation and Niall was pretty sure that without them, everyone would've noticed something off about their relationship by now.  

Then it was the day of his birthday, a Friday. Niall was stuck at school until 3pm and he knew Zayn'd be there for at least two hours more, by what time it'd be too late to see Zayn before his party started. 

Zayn made the whole class sing for him in English, he even shook his hand, but it really wasn't what Niall wanted at all. 

Naturally, he was in a foul mood all day and it didn't get much better even after everyone arrived to his party. Zayn wasn't there and Niall hated it.  

All of his friends from school, from his footie team and some of his cousins were there though, so Niall gave his best trying to have fun and be nice to everyone. He bounced from person to person, talking to everyone but no one in particular and he barely drank anything at all. His guests were mostly absolutely trashed by 10pm and usually, Niall would've been just as bad, but that night, he definitely didn't feel like it.  

Some of his friends forced him to have a "birthday shot" so he felt a light buzz, but that was it. 

"Niall! Niall!" It was Harry, loud and obnoxious when drunk, dragging a barely coherent Louis after him. "Guess who's in your back garden!" 

Niall didn't want to guess, didn't have to, he just turned around and tried to squeeze his way to the door, trying not to be too rude when he was held up by people talking to him. 

It took him almost ten minutes, but then he was outside and the cool night air that already held a promise of autumn hit him, feeling perfect against his heated skin. 

"Zayn?" he whisper-yelled. "Babe?" 

A figure stepped out from behind the big bushes in the back of the garden, staying in the shadows though. Niall jumped down the few steps from the veranda and hurriedly made his way through the garden. 

There he was, dark and handsome as always. Zayn. His  _boyfriend_. 

" _Hi_ " Niall breathed and threw himself into Zayn's arms. "I missed you." 

Wrapping his arms tight around the younger boy, Zayn said: "Missed you more. Happy birthday, love." 

"I'm so glad you came." 

"Wouldn't miss it for the world. School definitely did not count." 

"Does this mean I get my birthday kiss now?" Niall teased. 

"Oh, definitely" Zayn smirked and leaned in until his lips almost touched Niall's. "Although..." 

"What?" Niall said, impatiently tugging on Zayn's collar. "Just kiss me already!" 

"So eager, baby" Zayn laughed. "Don't you want your present first?" 

"You got me a present? I would've been happy with a kiss, you know." 

When Zayn handed him his present, Niall burst out laughing. "You got me candyfloss?"  

"It's what our first kiss tasted like." 

Niall smiled softly, pecking Zayn's lips tenderly. "You're so cute, Zee. Thank you." 

"It's not the whole present, though" Zayn said, taking one of his hands. "It's sort of a promise. I promise to take you out on a proper date again, somewhere a bit further from here, where no one will recognize us. We can spend the day like a normal couple, doing whatever we want to do." 

"A proper date?" 

"A proper date." 

"I love you." 

"And I love you." 

"So, how about that birthday kiss now?" 

- 

Ten minutes later, the back door of Niall's house opened and laughter wafted out, reminding the two boys that they weren't actually the only people in the world. Reluctantly, they pulled apart, keeping their hands locked between them. 

"You better get back in, or people will start wondering where you are" Zayn said quietly. 

"I wish you could come with me" Niall sighed. 

"So do I, believe me. Next year, we'll be celebrating it together. Promise." 

"I'll hold you to that" Niall said, smiling because of the way his boyfriend casually referred to their future. 

One more soft kiss and Zayn was gone, leaving Niall alone in the suddenly chilly air. Sighing, the blonde started walking back towards the house. 

"Niall, my boy!" one of his friends yelled when he stepped into the light. "Where've you been?" 

"Just needed to get some fresh air, mate" Niall replied and grabbed a cup.  _Time_ _to_ _get_ _wasted_. 

- 

A couple of weeks passed quickly, and between school, studying for school - why had no one warned him how much work your last year meant - and seeing Zayn in the evenings and on weekends, Niall barely noticed September turning into October. 

“It’s been almost a month since your birthday and we still haven’t gone on our date” Zayn said one afternoon when they were cuddled up on his sofa watching a film.

“That’s because we always end up staying in and having sex instead” Niall replied, lazily kissing Zayn’s throat because it was the only part of him he could reach without having to move too much.

“Now I feel bad” Zayn said. “I’m not only in this for the sex.”

Niall giggled. “I know that, babe. Besides, there was always something going on these past couple of Saturdays. I had a footie match or it was someone’s birthday…”

“What about next Saturday?”

“I think I’m free.”

“And would you give that free Saturday to me?”

Niall shifted his position so that he was straddling Zayn. “With pleasure.” He leaned down to kiss Zayn who eagerly pulled him closer.

“What about the film?” Zayn asked against Niall’s lips a while later.

“Don’t care” Niall muttered.

“Good.” Zayn tightened his hold on Niall and flipped them around so he was lying on top of the younger boy. No need to say that they didn’t pay attention to the film anymore.

-

When Saturday came around, Niall got up early enough to be ready at 10am, when Zayn would pick him up. _The things you do for the people you love_.

A few minutes before 10 his mum came into his room. “You look nice, sweetheart” she said looking at Niall in his light blue jeans and dark grey sweater with red sleeves. Niall smiled but didn’t reply. It was obvious his mum wanted to say something. “Your father and I have been talking, and we thought since Zayn is such a nice young man and he’s taking you out for the whole day, you might just as well stay out for the night too. If you want to.”

Niall gaped at her. Did his mother just give him permission to sleep with his boyfriend? That was a pretty big deal to Niall, although technically, she was about a month late. He wasn’t gonna tell her that, though.

“Really?” he just asked.

“Yes. Just, you know, make sure you’re safe –“

“Okay” Niall said loudly. “Sure, thanks mum.” He definitely wasn’t going to have _the talk_ again.

Thankfully, the doorbell rang and Niall heard his dad opening the door and Zayn greeting him. He wasn’t sure how good it was that his parents had met Zayn, but when he had introduced him, he couldn’t have known Zayn’d end up as is teacher. Now he just hoped his parents would never find out he was.

Niall skipped down the stairs and saw Zayn looking up with a bright smile when he heard him. Niall smiled back just as wide, noticing that they kind of matched, Zayn sporting red trousers – red trousers! Skinny ones! Niall couldn’t really believe what he saw –, a white t-shirt and a black leather jacket. The red of Zayn’s trousers was exactly the same as Niall’s sleeves.

Walking up to his boyfriend and grabbing his hand, he was greeted with a breathy “Hi” and a kiss on the cheek. Niall noticed his parents were watching them fondly and decided it was time to leave. “Come on, let’s go” he said.

“Have a fun day, you two” Bobby said.

“See you tomorrow, Niall” Maura chimed in. “And Zayn, come ‘round some time again.”

“Will do, Mrs Horan” Zayn smiled. “You have a nice day, too.”

The two boys left hand in hand. “’See you tomorrow’?” Zayn repeated, opening the passenger door of his car for Niall.

“Yeah” Niall sighed. “My mum gave me permission to stay at yours tonight.”

Zayn laughed, getting in too. “I suppose you didn’t tell her that you haven’t actually slept at Harry’s or Liam’s for the past few weekends?”

“No. I also didn’t tell her that it doesn’t actually have to be dark outside.”

Zayn laughed loudly. “Good thing. Don’t want to give your mum a heart attack.” He kissed Niall before starting the car. “I’m still surprised that they actually let me spend time with you. Even if they don’t know about the teacher-thing, I’m still five years older than you.”

“You left a very good impression when they first met you. And I hope they never, _never_ find out you’re my teacher.”

“Believe me, so do I. But let’s not talk about that, okay? This whole point of today is to forget about that for a while.”

“Of course. So where are you taking me?”

“It’s a surprise” Zayn said cheekily. “But don’t worry, there’s plenty of food.”

Niall laughed. “You make me sound like food’s my only interest.”

“So what? You make me sound like sex is mine.”

They both laughed. “A day made out of those two things would be bloody brilliant though” Niall mused when they stopped laughing.

“Let’s try that next weekend.”

-

Almost two hours later, Zayn pulled onto the car park of a zoo. “You’re taking me to a zoo?” Niall asked, excitedly bouncing in his seat.

“It’s the first stop, yes.” Zayn smiled at his goofy boyfriend.

“There’s more?!”

There turned out to be a lot more. Zayn had brought a picnic which they had at the zoo, after the zoo – where they spent a lot of time watching the penguins for some reason – they went to see a movie at the cinema before having dinner at a nice and cosy restaurant.

“So basically, we just had three dates in one” Niall said after Zayn had paid for dinner and they were leaving the restaurant.

Zayn wrapped his arm around Niall’s shoulders. “Had a lot to make up for, didn’t I?”

“Thank you” Niall said, pressing a kiss to Zayn’s jaw. “It was perfect.”

Zayn stopped walking and turned, trapping Niall between him and his car, his hands on both sides of Niall’s shoulders. “I’m glad.” He leaned forward and tentatively kissed Niall’s lips. The blonde pulled him closer by the waist, pressing their bodies together and effectively deepening the kiss. Zayn started toying with the hair in Niall’s neck and the younger boy pushed his hips forward a bit in response, emitting a low moan. He stopped breathing for a bit when Niall’s hand slipped into his back pocket, but he then let his hand wander under Niall’s sweater, touching the sensitive skin on his waist.

“Get a room!” someone yelled, and they broke apart, flushed and half-hard already.

“Oops” Niall said and Zayn laughed, kissing him softly again.

“Let’s hurry and get home, shall we?”

-

When Niall woke up the next morning, he thought that life could just go on exactly like this weekend was going. He smiled to himself, imagining his and Zayn’s future, living together in some bigger city, Zayn teaching and him maybe at uni or something.

Sleepily he started to trace Zayn’s tattoos on his chest and arms until the older woke up.

“G’morning” he mumbled.

“Morning sunshine” Niall said, pressing his lips to Zayn’s shoulder. “Is it time for breakfast yet?”

Zayn groaned and put his pillow over his head. “I can’t believe you sometimes” Niall heard his muffled voice.

“We’re awake now anyway!” he whined. “And you did your best to make me hungry last night. So basically it’s your own fault.”

They did get up eventually and Zayn made breakfast for both of them. The rest of the morning was spent lazily lounging around Zayn’s flat until Niall had to go home.

-

Of course it couldn’t stay that good. Niall’s perfect few days ended abruptly when one of his classmates told him on Monday: “I saw you with Mr Malik the other day” and Niall nearly choked on his chocolate bar.

“What? When?” he asked, trying not as panicked as he felt. They’d been two hours away from home but what if that hadn’t been far enough? They hadn’t exactly been canny with PDA.

“Saturday morning I think. You were in his car.”

“Oh” Niall said and was deeply relieved. “Right, I forgot about that. He drove past me and offered to give me a ride.”

“Well, that was nice of him.”

“Yeah, well, he’s a pretty cool teacher.”

And that was that for Niall. He wasn’t one to worry too much and he’d already had his anxiety attack that first day of school.

-

He had almost forgotten about it by the afternoon but he remembered when he was at Zayn’s, his head on his boyfriends’ lap, studying for history while Zayn was reading through some essays.

“Someone saw us on Saturday morning, by the way.”

Zayn stiffened. “What?!”

“We were only in the car. I told him you drove past me and offered me a ride. No need to get nervous.”

“There’s every need to get nervous, Niall!” Zayn’s voice rose and he abandoned the essays on his desk. Niall sat up, confused about Zayn’s intense reaction. “This is how it starts! Someone sees us and tells other people, one of those people sees us again and so on. What if someone from school lives around here, sees you a couple of times, finds out I live here and connects the dots? It’s not all that difficult!”

“I don’t know why you’re acting this way now” Niall said. “When I had those exact concerns you told me it’d be fine. Why are you freaking out now?”

“It hadn’t happened then! But now it did and I’m just afraid it’s going to get worse.”

“What do you want to do then? I can’t make myself invisible when I come here.”

“I don’t know, Niall!” Zayn snapped and Niall flinched at his tone.

“Please calm down, Zee. It’s going to be fine.”

“How can you say that? You don’t know if it will!”

“And you don’t know if it won’t. It’s not worth worrying now.”

“What? Of course it is! At least for me, _I’m_ the one risking his job or even more for this! I could go to jail for being with a student!”

“That is exactly what I said a month ago!” Niall yelled back, feeling tears sting in his eyes. He didn’t understand how they had ended up here, yelling at each other. “Besides, I’m not a minor anymore, so even if people found out, you wouldn’t be put in jail.”

“Oh, so it’s alright? I’m not gonna go to jail, let’s celebrate! I’m only going to be the pervert who fucked a student for the rest of time! What’s going to happen to you? People might talk about it for a while, but they’d forget eventually and you could just live your life. I’m the one putting everything on the line here!”

“How can you say that? I’m giving up so much for this! I’m 18, for fuck’s sake! I should be going to parties, make out with people, go on dates _in public_ , have fun, live my life, but I’m giving all of that up for _you_! I’m hiding inside, lying to almost everyone I know just to be with you! If that doesn’t mean anything to you, you’re not the guy I thought you were.” Niall walked to the door, angry tears streaming down his cheeks.

“Niall…” Zayn said weakly. “I didn’t mean it that way. Please stay…”

“No. I need some time, Zayn.”

And he left, pulling the door shut behind him with a loud bang.


	4. Talks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got part 4 done! Sorry for the long wait, but it couldn’t be helped. Hopefully part 5 will be quicker :)  
> Hope you like this, it’s quite long. x

Niall walked all the way home, furiously wiping away the tears that just wouldn't stop falling. He wasn't even sure what he was feeling, whether he was sad, hurt or just angry.  

When he got home, he ignored his mum, just locked himself in his room, buried his head under his pillow, trying to block out the noises of his worried mum on the other side of the door and the constant buzzing of his phone until he finally drifted into a restless sleep. 

-

When he woke up, he had 34 missed calls and 29 texts. 26 calls and 17 texts were from Zayn and Niall deleted them all without even opening them.  

He read through the other texts, most were sent by Louis, and they basically all told him to listen to Zayn. Great. So Zayn had pulled Niall's friends on his side. 

For a while Niall pondered about going to school, but he knew he'd have to face it all some time anyway, might as well be now.  

When he went downstairs, his mum was already up, bustling around the kitchen. 

"Niall!" she exclaimed, turning around to face him when she heard him enter the room. "I was so worried last night! What's going on? Is it about Zayn?" 

"We had a fight" Niall said, not really wanting to talk about it. 

"Why? What about?" 

"Gotta go, mum" Niall avoided her questions by kissing her cheek, quickly leaving the house.

-

At school, his friends were already anxiously awaiting him. “Niall!” Harry shouted.

“Have you talked to Zayn?” Liam asked more quietly.

“No I haven’t, and I don’t plan on doing it either” Niall said and walked straight past them. He couldn’t believe they’d take Zayn’s side so readily, not even asking him how he was or what his view of things was.

They quickly caught up to him though, Liam on his left side, linking their arms, Harry on the right doing the same.

“It’s just” Liam starts, “he called Louis last night and he said you two fought and you ran out and it was just a huge misunderstanding…”

“Oh I understood him pretty clearly.”

“Niall, he was really broken up about it.”

“Lou said he was like 90% sure he was crying at some point” Harry added.

Niall felt his own eyes water. _Serves him right_ , he thought. _I’ve done enough crying for a hundred years._

“Just…talk to him?” Liam asked.

“Can you just leave this up to me?” Niall snapped. “I told him I needed time and I meant that. None of you were there and heard what he said so please stop taking sides in this okay?”

His friends just stared at him.

“Oh.” Liam said.

“Niall…sorry” Harry tried. “We kind of just assumed…”

“Yeah” Niall interrupted. “I’m really not in the mood of talking right now.”

And with that, he left them standing in the middle of the hall, gaping after him with guilty looks on their faces.

-

English was hell. Zayn kept looking at him with those sad eyes and Niall was constantly either so sad he wanted to cry or so angry he wanted to punch him.

When the lesson ended, Zayn said: “Mr Horan, could I have a word with you?”

Niall groaned and Liam threw him a glance that Niall couldn’t really read.

When all of the students had left, he slowly made his way to Zayn’s desk. Zayn stood up, coming to stand in front of him. “Niall” he said and his voice sounded really small. “Can we talk about what happened?”

Niall almost caved. Almost.

“I don’t have time to talk, I’ve got classes, Mr Malik” he said, making sure to put emphasis on the formal name.

Zayn made a small sound, almost a whimper, but Niall fled the room before he could become weak.

-

What followed was the most miserable week of Niall’s life. When he was at school he had to deal with Zayn’s constant tries to contact him in some way and Harry and Liam’s pitiful glances.

At home his mum was constantly trying to find out what went on and he couldn’t leave his phone on because of all the texts and calls he didn’t want to receive.

On Friday, when Zayn handed out work sheets, Niall found a small note under his.

_Niall, I know you’re angry and you’ve got every right to be. But please, can you at least try and listen to me? I don’t want to leave this open like it is right now. Can you come over tonight?_

_I miss you._

_And I love you._

Underneath, he had drawn a small heart and if you looked close enough, you could see the little _Z_ in it.

Niall didn’t know what to do. Yes, he still loved Zayn, and yes, he was miserable without him. But was he ready to forgive and forget? He knew it wasn’t going to be easy with them, at least not until after he graduated, but he just wasn’t sure that was what he wanted anymore.

He wanted Zayn, definitely. But was he worth all the heartbreak and worry?

-

Niall didn’t go to Zayn’s that afternoon.

On Saturday, he found a little note taped to his window and he almost smiled, wondering how the hell Zayn had gotten it there.

_I’m not giving up on you yet._

On Sunday, his mum knocked on his door. “Niall, sweetheart? Zayn is downstairs. He says he needs you to listen to him and that he’s sorry for everything that happened. I don’t know what happened between you, but I promise you that it’s better to get closure on things, no matter what the outcome. Just let him in and if you still want him gone after he’s done, I’ll help you throw him out, alright?”

Niall sighed deeply. He looked around his messy room. Well, no point in cleaning now anyway. “Alright” he groaned. “I’ll let him in.”

He unlocked his door and went back to sit on his bed, waiting for Zayn to come up. There was a light knock on his door and then Zayn walked in.

"Niall" he said in that really small voice he'd had every time he'd tried talking to Niall. "Hi."

"Hey" Niall said, trying to sound indifferent and also trying really hard not to stare at Zayn.

"Thanks for letting me in."

Niall made an unintelligible sound and Zayn sighed.

"Look, I know you're mad at me and I don't blame you at all. I was a complete dick. But, Niall, please let me try to explain, okay? Please just listen to me."

Niall nodded curtly, still not looking up from where his fingers were twitching in his lap. He was going to let him talk but he wasn't going to take him back. He wasn't.

"I'm scared. Absolutely terrified, even."

Niall looked up at him. "Yeah, I noticed" he said stiffly, and a bit disappointed. He had expected an apology, not an explanation why they couldn't be together. Not that he wanted them to be anymore, but still.

"The thing is, I finally figured out what I'm scared of." He came closer and when Niall didn't object, he kneeled down in front of him. "I'm not afraid of being caught or someone giving me shit for dating a student. I'm terrified of how much I love you, Niall. I love you so much that I'd give up everything for you, my job, my dreams, the life I've always wanted. And when I realized that, it scared the shit out of me. So I panicked and said some really stupid things, and I am so, so sorry for that. Please Niall, don't give up on me, on us. Give me one more chance and I promise, I'm going to do everything I can to make you happy - don't cry, oh god, baby, please don't cry."

"It's just" Niall sobbed, wiping his eyes furiously, "I'd made up my mind before you came here. I'd promised myself I wouldn't be weak, I wouldn't take you back."

"Niall..."

"Zayn, no matter what we do, this whole thing – us – is going to be so hard until I graduate. It's probably going to be more heartbreak than the good stuff and I just don't know if it's worth it."

"I can't make you choose me, Ni, I know that. You're only 18; you should be allowed to live your life. And if that's really what you want, I'll let you go. I'll give you up for your sake. But I want you to know that I love you more than anything, you mean the world to me. And I don't think I can make it without you."

Niall let out a strangled sob. "I don't...why....why does it have to be this way? Why can't I fall in love with someone my age? Why do I love you??" He sobbed again, tears streaming down his face.

"Niall...baby..." Zayn's hands touched Niall's, fleetingly, then he cradled Niall's face, trying to wipe away the tears, but new ones just kept coming.

Niall gasped for air, suddenly grabbing the front of Zayn's shirt, pulling him closer, and Zayn wrapped his arms around the younger boy, holding him close and trying to soothe him, while he felt his own tears – that had been stinging behind his eyes the whole time – spill over.

“I wish I wouldn’t feel this way, I wish it was all easier” Niall sobbed. “Why do I feel this way?”

“Breathe, baby, please just breathe, you’re going to make yourself sick” Zayn begged when Niall started choking on his tears. “It’s going to be alright, everything’s gonna be fine.”

Murmuring soothing words, he rubbed small circles on Niall’s back, waiting until the blonde’s breathing finally calmed down.

When he had stopped crying, Niall sat up and slid away from Zayn, immediately missing the contact but deciding to ignore it.

“I want to be a teenager”, he said, voice rough from the crying. “I want to be a child for a little bit longer, be a total _boy_ with my friends, fool around – in both senses of the word – make  experiences. I want to be everything I can’t be at the moment, when I’m with you.”

“Oh god, Ni, _please_ -“

“I want all of that, but at the same time I don’t, because literally all I want is you. And I realize how cheesy that sounds and that I shouldn’t want to keep doing this. I’ve told myself so many times it’d be better to forget you, but the thing is  - I can’t. This week without you has been fucking hell, and I don’t ever want to feel that way again.”

“Are you saying –“

“I’m saying, Zayn, that I wish I could tell you to fuck off more than anything at the moment. That I might start to hate myself for not going through with it. That I might start resenting you for not letting me off the hook easily. I’m saying that right now, I wish I’d never fallen in love with you. And I realize that’s a horrible thing to say, and now it’s your turn to storm off angrily.”

“But I’m not going to do that.” And – very carefully, as if he thought Niall would pull away – he reached for Niall’s hand. “I’m not going to lie either, and I have to admit it hurts to hear you say things like that. But Ni, if you’re willing to try, I promise you I will give absolutely everything to make it worth it, to make sure the good stuff happens more than the bad stuff. I know that we’re going to come across quite many obstacles in our time, more than usual couples have to deal with, but we’ll be together through it. At least we’ll have each other. That’s enough for me, and I hope that it’ll be enough for you too, in time. Just please say you’ll take me back?”

“You’re gonna stick with me no matter what happens?”

“I promise.”

“Why are you doing this? Like, what can make all of this so important for you?”

“You. Niall, I love you. I love you so, _so_ much. You are the one who makes everything important to me. You _are_ everything.”

“I love you so much it hurts. Love isn’t supposed to hurt, is it?”

“No, it’s not, but sometimes it does. But if we keep going, if we keep holding on to each other, we’re going to get out of all the pain and  promise you, it’s going to be completely worth it.”

“How do you know that?” Niall’s voice was quiet.

“If I get to spend my life with you, I’m willing to miss out on a few things now.”

Niall sniffled. “Why do you always know exactly what to say?”

“Well, it’s kind of my job” Zayn chuckled. “So…does this mean you’ll give me another chance?”

“I can’t _not_ give you another chance.”

Zayn rubbed the back of Niall’s hand – the one he was still holding – with his thumb. “I really only want you to be happy, you know that, Ni, right?”

“You _do_ make me happy. Usually. It’s just all the stuff around…”

“We’ll get through this together. It’s just a few months until May, only half a year. We’ll get it right.”

“I trust you.” Niall looked up at Zayn, properly looking into his eye for the first time in a week. “Now, can you please kiss me already, I’ve kind of had withdrawals symptoms for about a week now.”

He didn’t have to say it twice, Zayn grabbed his neck to pull him close and softly latched their lips together.

Niall sighed into the kiss, sliding even closer to Zayn. He had missed this so much. Not just the kissing though, he’d missed Zayn’s warmth, his smell, his laughter, the way his eyes crinkled when Niall made him laugh really hard, the way his stubble felt against Niall’s soft cheeks – or any other body part really – and the way his name sounded when Zayn said it.

It didn’t take long for the kiss to turn into something much more heated, and soon Zayn was pressing Niall into the mattress, both boys trying to get as close to each other as possible.

“I want to be with you so badly” Niall said when Zayn moved to kiss his jaw and neck.

“I’m not having sex with you while your mum is downstairs, baby” Zayn protested without stopping.

Niall laughed. “I didn’t even mean it that way, but yeah, me neither.”

“Oh” Zayn said, pulling away. “I want to be with you, too. For as long as you’ll have me.”

Niall smiled, sitting up and lacing their fingers together. “Not gonna get rid of me anytime soon, now that I’ve made up my mind. But you kinda got my mind on the dirty track now so can we please go to yours?”

Zayn laughed heartily. “That wasn’t my immediate intention, but I’m totally fine with where this is going.”

Hand in hand they walked downstairs and stopped at the door to the living room, where Niall's mum was sitting.

"You were right, mum" Niall said and his mother turned around, her eyes immediately going to their entwined hands. "Thank you."

Maura smiled widely. "I'm very happy for you, for both of you" she said and got up, walking towards them. She kissed Niall's cheek and squeezed Zayn's arm affectionately, then said, winking: "And now off with you boys!"

When they were sitting in the car, Niall asked Zayn: "D'you think she knows what we're up to?"

"I guess that wink kind of suggested she does, didn't it?"

"Oh god" Niall groaned. "Me mum knows I'm fleeing the house to have sex with my boyfriend."

"Well it's better than the alternative of staying at yours, since she definitely would've been able to hear us. You just cannot keep it down in the bedroom."

"Zayn..." Niall made, half laughing, half moaning.

"Really, one little touch in the right place and you’re positively screaming, like when I -"

"Zayn! Stop getting me all hot and bothered if you don't plan on doing anything about it in the next few minutes!"

"Who says I'm not?" Zayn asked, cheekily letting his hand on Niall's thigh wander up a bit.

"No! Oh my god, Zayn, you horny little shit!" Niall laughed, sounding slightly strained. "Wait until we're home, I'd like to enjoy you alive for a little longer."

Zayn laughed but then he suddenly stopped, causing Niall to look over at him worriedly. Zayn was smiling, though, his eyes full of love.

“I am so, so happy we get to do this” Zayn said, “So happy you’re giving me this chance.”

Niall put his hand on Zayn’s, squeezing it lightly. “So am I. Who was I kidding? I wouldn’t have made it without you anyway.”

“I love you so fucking much, you can’t even imagine.”

“I’m pretty sure I’ve got an idea.”

-

One month later, Niall was standing in Zayn’s kitchen making tea, when he heard the first sounds of a familiar song from the living room.

And then Zayn shimmied into the room, singing along at the top of his voice. He literally shimmied, his little dance looked so stupid and adorable that Niall burst out laughing, barely being able to keep upright.

“I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need. Don’t care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree…” Zayn slowly danced his way towards Niall who was laughing so hard he had tears streaming down his face. He was carrying tinsel with him and quickly slung it around Niall’s shoulders when he got to the chorus. “Cause baby, all I want for Christmas is youuuuu…”

Niall stopped laughing when Zayn pulled on the tinsel, effectively crashing their bodies together.

“It’s not even Christmas yet” he said breathless.

“One month to go, close enough” Zayn replied, his eyes trained on Niall’s lips. “And it’s true anyway.”

He leaned forward, closing the small gap between them and pressing their lips together. Niall wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, burying one of his hands in Zayn’s soft hair.

When they pulled away a few minutes later, their foreheads and noses still brushing, he said: “You’re all I want for Christmas, too, you know.”

Zayn chuckled. “We’re so sappy.”

“Sappy is okay if you’re in love.”

“Which we are.”

“Completely.”

-

The month before Christmas passed quickly, Niall had quite a few exams to write which meant that Zayn had almost as many essays to grade. Most of their afternoons were spent with Niall studying and Zayn getting schoolwork done, but they were both fine with that arrangement, as long as they got to spend time with each other.

-

When Christmas rolled around, Niall had to spend it with his family of course, so Zayn went back to Bradford to visit his family over the holidays.

They were both a bit apprehensive about spending a week apart from each other, but Zayn hadn't seen his family in almost five months and Niall thought it was probably time to spend some with his too.

"I'm gonna miss you" Niall said, tightening his arms around Zayn's waist when they were standing in Zayn's hallway in the morning of the 23rd.

"I'm gonna miss you too, boo" Zayn replied, placing a tender kiss on the smaller boys' forehead. "Next time, I'm going to take you with me."

"I'd like that very much."

"I really want you to meet my family, I've made them very curious with my constant gushing about you."

"You gush about me to your family?" Niall asked, very pleased by that image until he imagined what they might be expecting now. He groaned. "I'm never gonna live up to their expectations."

"Oh, don't worry baby, they'll love you. And now stop worrying prematurely and give me a proper goodbye kiss instead."

"Will you stay if I don't?"

"If you don't give it to me, I'll just take it."

Niall laughed and pressed their lips together in a sweet kiss.

"Well, it was worth a try."

"It's just a week, love. I'll be back before you know it."

“We’ll see about that. But I want you to enjoy the time with your family, so I’m gonna stop whining now.”

“You know, I am looking forward to seeing my parents and sisters again, but that doesn’t mean I’ll miss you any less.”

Niall smiled up at him. “Okay, and now get out, you’re going to be late.”

“I love you” Zayn said and kissed his boyfriend once more.

“Love you too, Z. Drive safe.”

-

That evening, Niall went to Louis’ house, to hang out with his three friends, something he hadn’t really done that much lately.

“Barely remember your face” Louis said, tracing Niall’s face with his fingers.

Niall laughed and shoved him away. “Go finger your boyfriend and leave me alone. Besides, you do get to see me…just not as much as you used to. And sometimes I’m not alone.”

“Always, you mean” Liam called from the sofa.

“Co-dependent much?” Louis teased.

“Says the one who visits his boyfriend during lunch break because he misses him.”

Harry laughed. “You’re right, we can’t criticise you for that. Not that we want to, we’re really happy you and Zayn are so happy.”

“ _Thanks_ , Hazza.” Niall turned to the other two. “See, this is what friends do.”

“Yeah, whatever” Louis sighed. “He probably hopes sucking up to you will make Zayn give him better grades.”

“Do not!” Harry yelled offended.

“Sorry babycakes, I know you don’t need any of that, your grades are perfect as they are” Louis said, plopping down onto his curly boyfriends’ lap.

“Aw, Lou” Harry cooed and Niall quickly turned away when they started snogging.

“Sorry I left you alone with that” he said to Liam, who chuckled.

“It can be quite disturbing” he agreed. “Guys! Get off each other and focus!”

“Get each other off? With pleasure” Louis murmured without letting go of Harry.

Niall made a gagging noise. “We need to end this” he said to Liam, pointing his thumb at the shamelessly snogging boys. “This is just gross. Me and Zayn at least try to keep it down with people around.”

“You’re not people in that sense” Harry said from underneath Louis.

“Gee, thanks” Liam said and turned to Niall. “Let’s do this.”

Together, they grabbed Louis and pulled him away from Harry, unceremoniously dropping him on the floor.

“I came here to play Fifa and watch a film or two” Niall explained. “Can we do that please?”


	5. It's Christmas time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! Took me a long time, but here it finally is! I’m very sorry about the delay but it seems like all of my professors want stuff handed in before Christmas so I’m at uni literally all of the time. I hope I’ll have some more time during Christmas break, but my exams are coming up in january so…
> 
> Anyway, this is not my best work since I never wrote more than like 15 sentences in a row, but well. Some ot5 in here, coming up near the end. I also might’ve stolen a tweet/quote or two ;) It’s christmas in this, how very fitting.
> 
> Hope you like it! x

Niall did quite like Christmas with his family. It usually meant his older brother Greg coming home, bringing his long-term girlfriend Denise with him, who Niall adored. A few aunts, uncles and cousins were always coming over, too. Besides, his mum made so much delicious food that even he couldn’t eat any more.

When Greg and Denise arrived at noon on the 24th, Niall was already waiting for them at the door, pulling the door open and hugging Denise tightly before she had even stepped over the threshold.

“Niall, hi” she said, sounding surprised.

“I cannot believe you’re favouring someone not related to you over your own brother” Niall heard Greg’s voice saying indignantly.

“She’s prettier” Niall teased, stepping into his brothers’ open arms.

“You’re gay.”

“So? I can still appreciate female beauty.”

They all laughed and Niall stepped aside, letting his parents through to their firstborn and his girlfriend.

"It's so good to have the family back together" Maura said, holding on to her son as tightly as she could.

"It's nice to be back" Denise smiled. She and Greg had been dating for more than four years now, she had long since joined the family in the Horan's heads.

"So mum tells me you still have that boyfriend?" Greg asked when they were sitting in the lounge a bit later.

"I do. Zayn."

"And he's a couple of years older than you?" Denise asked and Niall nodded. "What does he do for a living then?"

Niall thought his heart would stop.

"Right, I never thought to ask that!" Maura exclaimed. "What _does_ he do, dear?"

There was no way of escaping the question. What if he told them and they'd ask where Zayn taught? What if he lied and they'd find out later?

"He's a...teacher" he said finally, not being able to come up with anything else.

"Oh, really? What does he teach?"

"English." _Please don't ask where, please don't ask._

"I'd like to meet him sometime" Greg said and Denise nodded.

"Yes, it's a pity he can't be here today" Bobby agreed.

"He's with his family though, I'm sure he's enjoying that."

Niall sighed inwardly and relaxed a bit. Looked like he had avoided a catastrophe.

"Anyway" Greg said, "Denise and I have something we'd like to tell you."

Niall looked up at that, pretty sure he knew what was about to be said. And really -

"We're getting married!" Denise exclaimed excitedly and all hell broke lose as everyone tried to congratulate the happy couple at the same time.

Niall was really happy for the two of them, but he was also very thankful for the timing of their announcement. No one would be interested in Zayn's job anymore.

_My bro just avoided a catastrophe by announcing hes gettin married_ , Niall texted Zayn a few minutes later.

The reply came immediately: **Wow, congrats to Greg and Denise! What catastrophe? You got me worried there. X**

_They asked about your job._

**Oh**.

_Yeh. Told them you teach english n now i hope they forget !_

**Well I'd say there's no better distraction than a wedding**

_True ! Hope your having fun up north ! Xx_

**Give them my love, even tho they don't know me :) it's great so far, miss you tho :( xx**

_Miss you more :((( xx_

**Not possible xx**

_Not gonna fight over that with texts :D_

**Thats clever baby ;) m sorry, love,  gotta go now, enjoy your Christmas dinner! I love you! Xxxxxxx**

_Okay :( you too, love you toooo ! Xxxxx <3_

"You texting Zayn?" Niall looked up to see Denise had sat down next to him.

"Yeah, he had to go now, though."

"Missing him already?'

Niall nodded. "Yeh. It's only been a day and a half but I really do."

"You really love him, don't you?"

Niall looked up at her with wide eyes. "So much it scares me sometimes", he admitted quietly.

"Wanna go somewhere else to talk?" Denise asked and Niall looked around, seeing all those people he was related to in some way and thought that he really didn't want to talk about his boyfriend who was also his teacher in this environment, so he nodded, not sure what Denise even wanted to talk about.

They went up to his room together, sitting down on his bed. "Okay, Niall, I don't want to be nosy here" Denise started, "but when I asked about Zayn earlier, you seemed very apprehensive...almost scared? You don't have to tell me of course, I was just wondering, if you need someone to talk..."

And Niall broke down. He hadn't even realised how much he had kept inside for all of these months and how badly he wanted to tell someone.

He told Denise the whole story, about meeting Zayn and falling for him before he found out he was going to be his teacher for the year, all the problems they'd already gone through and how he still wanted nothing more than to be with him.

Denise hugged him close to her the whole time, gently stroking his back to calm his sobs.

"Sorry" Niall let out when he was finished. "I don't know why I keep crying, I never used to cry that much."

"I've known you for a long time, Niall, you do tend to be quite teary" Denise said jokingly and Niall let out a wet chuckle.

"It's just, he makes me so happy, but at the same time, everything is so complicated."

"I can see that. You know it's a dangerous game you're playing here. You _have_ to tell your parents at some point.

"Yeh I know, and I will. Just not yet, I'm trying to avoid it as long as possible."

"Why? Do you think they'll react badly?" Denise asked.

“My boyfriend is also my teacher, how do you think they’ll react?” Niall asked right back.

“True, but they’ve already met him, right? So maybe they’ll accept it. You’re of age and you didn’t know it would happen.”

“Yeah but I still prefer keeping them in the dark for as long as possible to be honest.”

"I get that, Niall. But you should know that if you ever want someone to talk to, you can always call me, okay?"

"Thanks, Denise" Niall said, giving her a thankful smile.

"Who else knows about the whole thing?" Denise wanted to know.

"My friends, Liam, Harry and Louis. No one else."

"At least you've got some people you trust until you decide to tell your parents. I'm glad you're not alone in this."

-

When Niall and Denise returned to the lounge a bit later, Greg looked at them curiously. Denise just threw her arm around Niall's shoulder and said, grinning at her fiancé: "Just had some catching up to do with my favourite brother-in-law."

And Niall had to admit that he did feel better after talking to her.

Christmas passed relatively uneventful after that, there was lots of food and music involved, but that was basically it.

-

When Zayn got back on the 30th, Niall was impatiently waiting at the door to his flat. He was cold, since they didn't put a heating in the hallway, but he didn't care. He had missed Zayn _so_ much.

When he heard Zayn's car pull up outside, almost 10 minutes after he had gotten there, he could barely stand still.

A car door being shut.

The front door opening.

Steps on the stairs.

And then Zayn came around the corner, looking at the ground. He hadn't seen Niall yet, and the younger boy wondered if he should say something or just jump at him.

He must've made a sound because Zayn's head suddenly snapped up and his beautiful, beautiful eyes found Niall's.

"Niall" he breathed, sounding surprised and very pleased.

His bag dropped to the floor and a grin spread out on his face and then he was sprinting across the small hallway and Niall finally moved too and then he was in Zayn's arms. _Home_.

Zayn pressed kiss after kiss to the top of Niall's head. "I missed you so much, baby, so, so much."

"I missed you too" Niall said, lifting his head off Zayn's chest, pursing his lips in a clear invitation that Zayn gladly took.

Niall hadn't even had time to really enjoy the kiss when Zayn suddenly pulled away, eyebrows furrowed. "You're all cold, Ni" he said disapprovingly. "How long have you waited for?"

"Couple of minutes" Niall mumbled, trying to avoid a straight answer.

"Ni" Zayn sighed, but he couldn't quite keep the smile off his face. He pecked Niall's lips once more. "Come on, let's get you inside and warmed up."

He went to pick up his bag on the other side of the hallway while Niall grabbed the two bags he had left by the door.

"What's that?" Zayn asked curiously as he unlocked the door, pointing at the bags with his chin.

"One part of your present" Niall explained and stepped into the warm flat.

"You got me a present?" Zayn asked surprised.

"Um...yeah. If that's okay? I didn't know..."

"Ni, of course it’s okay! We just didn’t specifically talk about it and you didn’t have to get me anything. Being with you is enough for me.”

Niall hugged Zayn around the waist, feeling his warmth now that they had taken their coats off. “I wanted to. It’s fine if you didn’t get me anything, though. You really are more than I could ever wish for.”

“I do have something for you, though” Zayn said, softly kissing his forehead. “And now go sit on the couch, wrap yourself in a blanket, I’ll make you some tea. You’re still shivering, love.”

-

Wrapped up in a blanket, cuddled into Zayn’s embrace and sipping hot tea, Niall was soon warm again.

“So part one of your present is actually me cooking for you” Niall said.

Zayn chuckled. “Really? Ni, you’re shit at cooking.” Niall made a small noise of protest. “No offense” Zayn added quickly.

Laughing, Niall said: “Too late, Z, that was too late. And yeh, I know I’m not a chef but I’ll do my best for you. That’s what a present is about, right?”

They kissed softly. “You’re right, of course. I love you so much, Niall.”

“I love you, too. When do you think I should start dinner?”

Zayn ended up helping Niall quite a lot, which kind of ruined the point of the present, but together, they managed to make a decent meal while having lots of fun.

"That was probably the most fun present I've ever gotten" Zayn said, smiling, after they had put the dirty dishes into the dishwasher.

"It wasn't the whole present though, remember?"

"Right, you said."

"Okay, d'you want it now?"

"I'll get yours, too. Let's do it in the lounge, shall we?"

"Sure" Niall said. "Let's do Christmas 2.0."

Zayn laughed and kissed him lightly before they both went to get their respective presents.

Niall was back in the lounge first, fidgeting on the sofa, wondering what Zayn might've gotten him.

When Zayn walked into the room, he was carrying a small, rectangular box. For a second, Niall's heart sped up before he inwardly shook his head at himself. They had only been together for a couple of months and he was still in school, Zayn wasn't gonna propose to him.

Plopping down next to Niall, Zayn said: “You open mine first, since I already got half of yours.”

Niall eagerly grabbed the box that Zayn offered him, excited to find out what it was. He gingerly removed the bow on top and opened the box.

“Zayn” he whispered, staring at the contents of the box and then up at Zayn.

“I thought about it for a while, but I felt like you should have one. It seemed like the right next step in our relationship” Zayn explained.

Niall didn’t say anything else, he flung himself at Zayn, grabbing his face and roughly pulling him into a kiss.

When they pulled away a few minutes later, both panting, Zayn chuckled: “Though I won’t complain, I gotta say I’m a bit surprised by your enthusiasm, love. It’s just a key.”

“It’s a key to your flat, Z! That is literally the best present ever!” Niall exclaimed. “I can’t even explain how much that means to me.”

“I’m happy you like it” Zayn smiled. “I just want to make you smile, is that okay?”

“Yes Zayn, I love you.”

They leaned in for another soft kiss, before Niall placed a wrapped present in Zayn’s lap.

Zayn curiously started to unwrap it, revealing a small book with a cover that had obviously been designed by Niall.

“Zayn + Niall” it said in big, colourful letters, and underneath, Niall had written: “Merry Christmas, Z! This is so that you'll never forget the best six months of my life so far. Love you" 

"Best six months?" Zayn asked, looking at Niall with wide eyes. "Despite all of the shit we went through?" 

"Being with you kind of makes it worth it" Niall said, smiling softly.  “So, looking back at it from now, it definitely was the best six months so far.”

Zayn leaned forward and kissed him tenderly. “For me, too.”

“Open it” Niall urged, nudging the book on Zayn’s lap with his knee.

Together they went through the scrapbook Niall had made, full of pictures they had taken of each other and together, and little captions Niall had added.

(“Oh, that was when we went to that concert!”

“This was when we went swimming!”

“You mean I went swimming and you watched me.”

“Technicalities, love, technicalities.”

“D’you remember that? Louis said you wouldn’t do it but you still did.”

“I’ve regretted it ever since. I’ll never bet against Lou again.”

“That was such a great day! I remember how you…”)

Closing the book after having looked at every picture, Zayn pressed Niall into the cushions of the sofa to kiss him properly.  

"I can't believe how much time you invested in making a present for me" he said. 

"Well I did most of it while you were away, otherwise I probably wouldn't have had time" Niall explained. "But it wasn't that much work anyway. I had loads of fun making it." 

"It's the perfect present. Thank you, Ni." They kissed sweetly. "I could say some more things but in gonna stop with the cheesiness."  

Niall laughed. "We've been pretty sappy all throughout this Christmas time, right? Ever since you sang 'All I want for Christmas is you' to me, you sap." 

"Well, we've gone through every cheesy cliché there is, but that's alright. This is our first Christmas together, we're allowed to be cheesy as hell." 

"Just imagine what it'll be like when we actually live together" Niall grinned, his smile softening when he saw the expression on Zayn's face. 

"I cannot wait to find out." 

- 

They spent New Year's Eve together at Zayn's flat, Zayn, Niall, Louis, Harry and Liam.

“It’s surprisingly nice with just so few people” Louis said over their fondue. “You can have fancy dinner.”

“Fondue isn’t fancy, Lou” Zayn said. He and Louis had become very close over the five months they’d known each other, maybe because they were both a bit older than the other three.

“Whatever. Maybe I should go to a party, since I’m only being picked on here instead of anyone reacting to my compliment.”

“’Surprisingly nice’ is a compliment?” Liam asked.

“Sounds more like ‘I’ll go with it for the food’” Niall added.

“Are you quite finished?” Louis tried sounding annoyed but the fond look in his eyes gave him away.

“You know you love us” Harry drawled, squeezing his boyfriends’ thigh.

“I love _you_ , Haz. I dunno about those tossers.”

“No snogging!” Zayn, Niall and Liam yelled in perfect synchronicity, bursting into laughter.

Harry and Louis looked at them, similar offended expressions on their faces.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about” Harry pouted.

“Don’t even try, even I have known you for long enough to know that declarations of love usually lead to extensive snogging” Zayn chuckled.

“I definitely do not love _you_ , you wanker” Louis said.

“I’m hurt.”

“You’ve still got me” Niall said, kissing him chastely on the lips.

“Same rule for you!” Louis yelled, pointing at them.

“No snogging for you either” Harry added.

“That wasn’t snogging” Niall defended them.

“Not even a proper kiss” Zayn said.

“How about you all stop rubbing your happiness into my newly single face?” Liam joked.

“It’s been 3 months, Liam” Louis said.

“It still sucks I’m the only one who doesn’t get to kiss anyone at midnight.”

“Oh we can all kiss you at midnight” Louis suggested.

“No thanks, that’d just be awkward.”

“Why? We’d totally invite you to a threesome, wouldn’t we, Hazza?” Louis said, causing Liam to turn a dangerously dark shade of red.

“Louis!” Harry choked out, mortified, while Niall nearly fell off his chair laughing.

“It was a joke, for god’s sake” Louis yelled. “I thought you’d know me well enough by now to realize that!”

Zayn and Niall were holding on to each other, trying to breathe through their laughter, while Liam still looked absolutely thunderstruck and Harry just shook his head at his boyfriend.

“Really, Louis?” he said. “Look what you’ve done to poor Liam.”

“Sorry, mate” Louis said but everyone could see that he was barely holding his laughter in. Niall and Zayn were wheezing on their side of the table, Niall’s face pressed into Zayn thigh to muffle his laughter, Zayn clutching his stomach, tears streaming down his face.

“It’s not _that_ funny” Liam said weakly.

“It kind of is” Harry disagreed and started laughing too, which was the end for Louis and finally Liam, too. Soon, all five of them were laughing so hard they couldn’t keep upright.

"Oh my god" Niall wheezed, his face flushed red. "I cannot believe Louis just suggested a threesome, with _Liam_ especially."

"Niall" Liam said. "Is that an insult?"

"It just seems very unlikely" Zayn explained.

"Okay, yeah, considering I'm the only straight guy in this room it really is" Liam said, his blush finally fading.

"Thanks for the laugh, mate" Niall said, to which Louis replied: "It's what I'm here for, lads."

-

At ten to midnight they ended their latest stupid drinking game in order to get champagne and turn on the TV on a channel that showed the London fireworks.

“I think I’m too drunk to count down from ten” Louis giggled, leaning heavily on Liam’s shoulder.

“You’re such a fucking lightweight, Tommo” Niall said. “We’ve all had just as much booze as you but we’re not nearly as drunk.”

“I do feel tipsy” Harry drawled.

“I can’t believe I got drunk in front of three of my students” Zayn said, pouring champagne into the fancy glasses he had found in his cupboard.

“We’ve seen worse” Liam chimed in, helping Louis drape himself over Harry instead.

“Just make sure two of your students never walk in on you fucking a certain student” Louis mumbled from where he was pressing his face into Harry’s shoulder.

“Don’t plan on it” Zayn said, Liam yelling at the same time: “Seriously, Louis, stop it with the sexual stuff tonight I don’t even remember what I got to hear!”

Niall laughed and hugged Liam. “You’re never gonna be innocent again.”

“He hasn’t been since he first met Louis” Harry chuckled.

“Lads!” Zayn said. “It’s time!”

He turned up the volume and all five of them crowded around the TV, waiting for the big clock to cover the whole screen.

“Ten!” They put their arms on each other’s shoulders, Liam in between the two couples.

“Nine!” Niall smiled widely at Liam.

“Eight!” Even Louis seemed sober enough to grin back.

“Seven!”

“Six!”

“Five!” Zayn squeezed Niall’s shoulder.

“Four!” Niall looked away from his friends, tilting his head up to Zayn, who was already looking at him.

“Three!” They stared into each other’s eyes.

“Two!”

“One!” Niall stretched and Zayn bent down a bit, their lips touching softly and lovingly.

“Happy New Year, love.”

“Happy New Year. To our first new year together.”

They turned away from each other to “Happy New Year!” shouts from their friends, and somehow their clinking glasses turned into a big, gushy group hug.

No one complained.


	6. It's a bumpy road

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 6 is finally here! i had planned on posting this before christmas but then uni and my christmas oneshot came in the way and then i went away for a couple of days so here it is now. i hope you all had a lovely holiday and got everything you wanted!  
> hope you like it :) x

**Can you come to my classroom quickly? I wouldn't ask but it's important**

Niall stared at the text curiously. The first bell to signal the end of lunch break had just rung but Niall didn't really care and did what his boyfriend asked him.

Walking into Zayn's classroom, he made sure there was no one else around before announcing: "This better not be some weird ass booty call, cause I'm supposed to be at class and -"

He stopped because Zayn didn't react at all, his back stayed turned to Niall and he looked very stiff and _oh_. Something was very wrong.

"Zayn?" he asked carefully. "What's going on? Did something happen?"

Zayn finally turned around and Niall was shocked at how shaken up he looked. "There's going to be a parents-teacher-evening-thing in three weeks where parents can come see any teacher they want and ask them stuff about your graduation and what's coming up in the next few months and stuff."

"Oh" Niall said, not really sure how to react. "Guess I'll have to make sure my parents don't find out about this or think it's unnecessary, then."

"Niall" Zayn said, taking a step towards the blonde boy and grabbing his hand. It was the first time they so obviously broke their own rule of not making ‘inappropriate’ contact in school, but both boys felt like this was a special situation. "They sent out invitations today. They've got all the teachers' names and classrooms on there."

Niall could only stare at him in shock. "No."

"We have to tell them, Ni" Zayn said softly. "They shouldn't find out through a letter from school."

"You're right."

"We always knew this day would come."

"I still kind of hoped it'd be after graduation."

Zayn chuckled and squeezed Niall's hand. "Do you want me to do it with you, baby?"

"No, I think I'd rather do it alone, make sure my dad doesn't want to kill you before he sees you, y'know." Zayn laughed, though he sounded a bit unsure, just like Niall wasn’t sure himself if he was really only joking. "Thanks for the offer, though, babe."

"Of course" Zayn smiled. "I'll drive you today, okay? Meet me at the teachers' car park after class, alright?"

"Okay" Niall said and leaned forward, catching Zayn's lips in a soft kiss. "We'll be alright, won't we?"

"No matter how your parents react, I love you and nothing will change that."

"Technically, they can't stop me seeing you. I'm an adult, it's my own choice."

"Technically, yes" Zayn agreed, massaging the back of Niall's hand. "But they're still your parents and I'd rather you don't endanger your good relationship with them for me."

"Let's hope I don't have to choose." Niall sighed deeply. "I should go, I'm already late for class."

"Right. See you later, love." Zayn kissed him quickly and Niall left, hurrying to his classroom.

-

When Niall walked out to the teachers' car park later that day, he hadn't told any of his friends about the trouble he and Zayn were in.

They probably assumed something very dirty about why he had had to rush to Zayn's classroom but he still preferred that to two pairs of worried puppy eyes. Harry and Liam were both masters of those, and one pair was already hard enough to cope with. So he kept quiet.

Zayn was already waiting for him, greeting him with only a smile - they were still on school grounds after all - and opening the passenger door for him.

Once they were inside the remotely safe car, Zayn gave him a peck on the lips. "Nervous?"

"Yeah" Niall admitted. "I don't really know how to explain why I've kept it a secret for six months."

"And you're still sure you don't want me to come along?"

"Yes, Z. For now, this is something between my parents and me."

"Okay. Just call me right after, alright?" Zayn grabbed Niall's hand and squeezed it affectionately.

"I will."

When they arrived at Niall's house, Zayn turned in his seat to look at Niall. "I suppose you're going to tell them as soon as your dad gets home?" Niall nodded. "Okay, I'll be waiting for your call then. If their reaction is negative, do not fight with them over me. I'll wait for you, even if I have to wait until you graduate."

"Zayn..." Niall started, immediately sounding choked. He was terrified of how his parents might react.

"No, I mean it" Zayn continued, his voice wavering only slightly. "I don't want you to damage your good relationship with your parents for anything, and certainly not for me. My feelings for you won't change, even if we can't be together for the next few months. So please, listen to them, okay baby? Do that for me."

Their hands clasped between them, they stared at each other, both trying to hold back tears.

"Are we being overly dramatic?" Niall asked. He felt slightly stupid for nearly crying over just the possibility of his parents making him stop seeing Zayn, but at the same time, the mere thought made him feel sick to his stomach.

"I don't know...we'll know if we were after you talked to them. Personally, I hope we are."

"Me too."

"Alright, we're going to stop the drama then. I'm going to kiss you now, you're going to go in, do your homework and - when your father gets home - tell your parents you fell in love with a guy who later turned out to be your teacher. You can tell them I'm more than willing to talk to them, explain how I feel about you. It might help them to know that I really do love you." Zayn’s face was soft, but his voice sounded strong and reassuring.

"It's not going to be that hard, if you think about it" Niall said and really started to feel a bit more confident. "They're my parents, they love me and they've liked you so far, that's not just gonna change."

"That's my baby" Zayn grinned and kissed the corner of Niall's mouth. "You're gonna do just fine."

"I love you" Niall said, leaning in to properly kiss Zayn. Zayn’s hand immediately went up to his neck, deepening the kiss, and the angle made Niall feel uncomfortable about the space between them, so he climbed over onto Zayn’s lap without breaking the kiss. Zayn made a pleased sound and tugged him closer, his hands on Niall’s hips.

When they broke apart several minutes later, Niall let out an embarrassed laugh. He couldn’t believe he had just _climbed over onto Zayn's lap to snog him in front of his house in broad daylight_.

"Oops" Niall said breathless.

Zayn chuckled. "Get out, you."

Niall kissed him once more and opened the driver’s door to get out, not bothering to climb back to the passenger’s side. Zayn gave his backpack to him and grabbed his wrist. "Wait, Ni, I almost forgot: I love you too."

Niall smiled at his boyfriend as he kissed the knuckles of his hand. "See you later" he said, stooping down to kiss Zayn's cheek before closing the car door and heading inside.

-

The nerves came back full force when Niall heard his dad's keys in the front door.

He almost dropped the pen he was holding, anxiously listening to his father calling out in greeting.

He decided to give his parents ten minutes to catch up on their respective days, then left his room to head downstairs.

Niall was shaking like a leaf by the time he stepped into the lounge, and he probably looked like death himself.

"Niall!" his mum exclaimed when she saw him. "Are you alright, sweetheart? You're terribly pale!"

"'m fine, mum" Niall mumbled. "I just gotta talk to you about something important."

"Is something wrong?" his dad asked worriedly.

"Well...not necessarily. It's not exactly right either, but it doesn't have to be wrong."

"Stop talking in riddles, Niall, and spit it out already" Maura urged.

All three of them sat down and Niall took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

"Okay, so here's the thing: you're going to get a letter from school soon -"

"Niall James Horan! What have you done?!"

"It's nothing like that, mum. It's a letter about a parents-teachers-day at school where you can like ask teachers about what's coming up for me and stuff. But you see, there's this kind of important part you don't know about me and Zayn...Zayn's name is going to be on that letter. As my English teacher."

Both of his parents just looked at him, dumbstruck.

"What do you mean?" Bobby asked. "How did it get there?"

Niall sighed inwardly. Did he really have to explain more? It had been hard enough to build up the courage to do it once.

"Mum, Dad, Zayn is not only my boyfriend, he's also my English teacher. We didn't know that when we got together though, I swear! By the time we found out it was already too late."

"You mean he's your regular teacher? Who grades your essays?"

Niall really didn't like the tone of his father's voice. "Well, technically he's just a substitute at my school for this year, but yeah, he's my normal teacher. He doesn’t treat me any different in class though, and our relationship doesn’t influence his grading at all."

For a second, both of his parents just stared at him. Then they started talking - almost shouting - at the same time and Niall couldn't understand a thing. He could tell from their voices and faces, that it was very negative though. He felt his heart drop and didn't know what to do. He hadn't expected them to react that badly.

"I cannot believe you kept this from us for six months!" Maura's voice came through. "You've betrayed our trust in you!"

"This can't go on."

Niall stared at his dad in shock. "What?! No! Dad, you can't do this! You both had nothing against Zayn until like 10 minutes ago! That can't have changed just because he's my teacher - a fact we both have no power over and didn't even know when we first met!"

"I simply can't approve of it, Niall. It's wrong in every sense of the word."

Niall felt the tears on his cheeks before he noticed he was crying. "But - dad, mum...I love him! And he loves me! He wanted me to tell you he'd talk to you if you wanted, explain his side -"

"I don't want to talk to him. I won't accept something like that happening under my roof. You won't see him again."

"Dad, please, no -"

"No discussion, young man. You may be an adult by law, but you're still living under my roof and I won't allow it."

“How could you lie to us all this time?” The disappointment in his mum’s voice was probably the worst thing Niall had heard so far.

“I didn’t lie, mum, and I didn’t consciously decide to keep it from you, I promise. I never meant to hurt you, we both didn’t.” Niall was having trouble finding the words to voice his thoughts, especially since he had started crying. “It just happened so quickly and it was surprising and confusing and terrible for us and yeah, I might’ve thought you wouldn’t approve if you knew, but I still hoped you’d trust me enough to let me make this decision on my own. Zayn really makes me happy, and I had wished that’d be the important thing for you.”

“Your happiness is what matters to us, Niall” his dad said, but he still sounded angry. “The thing is though, that this won’t make you happy. Not in the long run, at least. I’m not gonna let you ruin your life by getting involved with a teacher now!”

“But dad, Zayn _is_ my future!” Niall was really frustrated with his parents, they didn’t even seem to try and understand his point of view.

“Son, you’re 18 years old, you’re still a child. You can’t know what your future might bring, and you most definitely can’t tell who you’re going to spend your life with. It might seem like this with Zayn for now, but it’s a phase that’d end soon enough anyway, so I’m putting an end to it before it can cause any damage.”

“No!” Niall’s voice cracked when he yelled at his parents who were watching him with looks on their faces that Niall didn’t even recognize. “You don’t know that, you don’t know _anything_!”

“Oh, we know plenty.” Maura just sounded tired now. “I think you should go upstairs now and calm down, Niall. Take some time to think about what we said, and you’ll come to your senses. It’s for your best.”

Niall was straight out sobbing by now, he didn't know what to do or say to make his parents change their minds, and he was so angry he was scared he'd say something really stupid and do exactly what Zayn had told him not to. So he settled for running out of the lounge and locking himself in his room.

His body was wrecked with sobs and all he wanted was Zayn, but Zayn was also the only person he couldn't invite over. Still, he found himself calling his boyfriend in desperate need of some sort of comfort from his voice.

"Zayn?" he asked when his boyfriend picked up, but it came out more like a sob.

"Ni?" Zayn asked, sounding alarmed. "Ni, baby, are you alright? What happened?"

"No...I...nothing's alright. Zayn, they...I'm not allowed to see you again."

Zayn didn't say anything. Niall was sure he could hear shallow breathing on the other end of the line, but he couldn't tell what Zayn was doing.

"Zayn?"

"I'm here, love" Zayn said, his voice sounding strangely calm. "Okay, listen. Please, please stop crying, baby, you know I can’t bear to hear you cry. We'll be alright. It's the end of January, you graduate in June. We'll stop seeing each other outside of school until then, it'll be hard but we'll make it, I promise you. I love you Niall, don't ever forget that, okay? I love you."

"How...why...aren't you gonna fight at all?" Niall couldn’t pretend he wasn’t hurt at all by Zayn’s reaction. He had expected Zayn to be angry or sad, or shocked, something to show he actually cared about their relationship. Niall himself was so obviously suffering from his parents decision, why didn’t Zayn feel the same way?

"No. Baby, this is what I expected. Your parents only want your best and so do I. I understand them, I understand why they’re doing this. I'm not gonna make it harder for us by angering your parents. If we follow their orders now, they're much more likely to be accepting later on."

"But I...I don't think I can go that long without you” Niall admitted quietly. His heart was already pounding painfully, wishing for Zayn to just hold him.

"We don't have to cut all contact short, love. We can text and call each other, we just can't meet up or kiss or the like. Think of it as kind of a long-distance relationship."

"Without the distance."

"That's the hardest thing about it."

Niall sighed deeply, when he something in his head suddenly clicked, making his heart stutter and his hands start to tremble. "Earlier" he said. "Zayn, were you saying goodbye earlier?"

Zayn was silent, but it was a loaded kind of silence, that told Niall Zayn knew exactly what he was talking about.

"In the car, when you kissed me. And when I got out and you kissed my hand. Were you saying goodbye, Zayn?"

It was quiet another minute. "...Yes. Like I said, I thought this would happen and I figured I'd probably better kiss you properly one more time as long as I could. See the look in your eyes when I told you I loved you."

"Oh god" Niall was starting to feel a bit sick. "Oh god, I didn't. I didn't know it'd be the last time."

"It wasn't the last time, love. Think of it more as a break. An involuntary one, but a break nonetheless."

Niall started crying again. "Can't we just continue seeing each other? We don't have to tell my parents, I'm sure the others would cover for us, they’ll be just as devastated as we are."

"Ni..." Zayn’s tone was hesitant and patient.

"Please, babe. I can't go through with seeing you at school every single day, pretending there’s nothing there and then not even get to see you in the afternoons."

"Niall, love, you know I want nothing more than to do just that, but imagine if your parents found out we went behind their backs. They'd never approve of me then, and I really want them to accept me eventually. So for now it really is better if we do what they ask us to."

"I know you're right. But it's so fucking hard."

"I know."

"So this is what it’ll be like? Talks on the phone?" Niall tried imagining what they were doing as his prospect for the future and didn't like it at all.

"I guess so."

"Our lives better work out perfectly smooth after I graduate" Niall sighed.

Zayn chuckled softly. "Let's hope so. In the danger of sounding terribly cheesy: the only thing I can say with certainty right now is, no matter how smooth or rough our lives work out, it'll be our life, and we'll be together through whatever fate throws at us."

Niall smiled widely despite of the tears still staining his cheeks. "That was cheesy as fuck, babe, but it's good to hear your plan and mine fit together nicely."

"I love you."

"I love you too. Can we not hang up yet?"

"Sure, love."

"Sing to me?" Zayn had often sung Niall to sleep, humming softly into his ear when they were cuddling and Niall hoped it would bring him the comfort he so desperately needed.

"Of course."

Zayn softly sang into the phone until Niall drifted off into an early, thankfully dreamless sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this was quite a sad one...what did you think?  
> next chapter is going to be zayn's pov for the first time!  
> it's also probably going to be the last chapter. do you want me to wrap it up in one chapter or add an epilogue? i'd really like to hear your thoughts! x


	7. Explanations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm obviously shit at estimating, because this still isn't the last chapter, I kind of got carried away a little. The next one will be the final one though, unless I decide to add an epilogue.  
> This took me quite long because I got distracted (meaning I wrote two more oneshots, feel free to read them if you haven't yet), but now it's done.  
> Hope you like it! x

It was hard. Seeing Niall in school every day had been hard from the beginning on, but at least he had known he'd get him all to himself in the afternoon. Seeing him now and knowing all he'd get would be his voice over the phone was torture.

On the first day, Liam had walked past him before class and mouthed "sorry, mate" at him and Harry had even stayed after class for a few minutes to talk to him.

"Niall told us about what happened with his parents" the curly-haired boy had drawled in his usual slow, deep manner. "That sucks."

"That it does" Zayn had sighed.

"You know if we could we'd totally help you out, but Niall said you don't want to risk anything with his parents."

"I'm still hoping they'll accept me eventually, so I don't want to ruin that now."

"I guess that's clever. And Niall understands it too, but I feel like some part of him was still hoping you'd be willing to sneak behind his parent's back. I'm not trying to threaten you or anything, you've become my friend too, but Niall just seems to need more protection at the moment. So please don't do anything to hurt him, even if you think it's for the best in that situation."

"I don't feel threatened" Zayn had said. "I actually appreciate you looking out for him, so thank you. I'd do anything to make him happy."

The second day wasn't easier in the slightest. He could barely keep his eyes off Niall, filled with so much longing it physically hurt, and every so often, Niall would look back at him, which only made it worse. For both of them.

Somehow, they managed to get through the whole week without talking to each other at school, only talking on the phone when Niall was home alone. Zayn hated having to look out for even more things, but at the same time, sneaking behind the Horan's backs by calling Niall was as far as he would go. He really wanted to get his chance with them later on.

Halfway through the second week though, Niall stayed behind after class, motioning for Harry and Liam to go ahead.

Zayn was a bit unsure about what to think, he couldn't bring himself to be anything but thrilled for some face-to-face time with Niall, but he was worried about how he would contain himself.

"Hey." His voice sounded less sure than he had planned.

"Hi" Niall said, and his smile and his voice were hesitant, even his posture, as if he didn't know what to do with his hands. It was awkward, and Zayn hated it. For the first time, he felt like he might be resenting Niall's parents for this.

"So…" Niall started, shuffling nervously. "I know this" he gestured between them, "doesn't make it much better or any easier, but I gotta talk to you about something important and I felt like it's the kind of thing you discuss in person."

"What is it, love?" Zayn asked, feeling slightly nervous. Talks that started out like this didn't always end well. And if Niall didn't want to wait for him that long, could Zayn really judge him?

"I was thinking...my uni applications are coming up, and I should really start thinking about where I want to go. So I was wondering what your plans for the next school year are. Like, do you wanna try and stay here or would you, you know, like, consider finding somewhere we could go together?"

Niall wasn't looking up at Zayn, fidgeting with his fingers nervously and he looked so cute and innocent and his proposition had messed up Zayn's head thoroughly anyway so Zayn didn't really think, just crossed the space between them, grabbing Niall's face with both hands and slotting their lips together. Niall reacted almost instinctively, tilting his head up in just the right angle, eagerly licking into Zayn's mouth - a few seconds of pure bliss, then Zayn pulled away with a gasp.

"Shit, Ni, we can't -"

"I know." Niall smiled sadly. "Do I take that as a yes, though?"

“Fuck yes!” Zayn couldn’t even feel embarrassed about his outburst. “Of course I want that, love. This is hard enough already, I don’t ever want to be apart from you again.”

"Well I couldn't just assume, right? I had to make sure we were on the same page here."

"Of course, baby. Let's talk about this more in the phone later, okay? I don't want you to be late for class." On a whim, he leant forward, kissing Niall's cheek softly, despite his earlier slip-up, or maybe because of it. He couldn't really help it when Niall was looking up at him with those eyes and was just generally perfect in every way.

Niall smiled up to him. "Love you" he whispered.

"I love you" Zayn said back and prayed for June to arrive quickly.

He watched Niall leave his classroom with a last glance back and gave a small wave.

When his boyfriend was gone, Zayn sighed deeply and sat down at his desk. _Better get some work done._

- 

In the afternoon, Zayn was impatiently waiting for his phone to ring. He really liked imagining his future with Niall, and talking to him about it, even making concrete plans was so much better. 

"Hi love" he said into the phone when it finally rang.  

"Hey babe" came Niall's response. "So, I'm gonna come straight to the point. How are we gonna do this?" 

"I thought about it today and I think our safest bet is if you tell me what universities you'd like to go to and I'll apply for jobs in the respective towns. And then we'll figure out where we both got in and go there. Sound okay?" 

"Sounds good to me. Although I'm not sure how late you can decline or accept a job, since I'll only know where I got accepted in August."  

"Well then we’ll just have to take a chance by choosing somewhere I got a job and you're likely to get in." Zayn rubbed a hand down his face. "I know it's a risk but it might still be our best chance." 

"Seems like quite a high possibility to me" Niall said. "And we won't have to cross that bridge until a few months, so let's not worry too much now, yeah?" 

"Sure, baby, you're right. So, you already working on those applications?" 

- 

Time passed rather quickly thanks to helping Niall with his uni applications and hanging out with Louis, something they'd started quite soon into Niall and Zayn's relationship but were doing a lot more often since they weren't allowed to see each other. 

"I think it's really unfair of his parents" Louis said one evening. "It's not like you're using him or taking advantage of him or something, you didn't hit on him as a teacher. You met at a fucking carnival! You should tell them they're being dickheads when they come to talk to you on that parents-teacher-thingy next week." 

"If they come" Zayn corrected him. "I'm not sure if they really want to see me." 

"Well if they do come, talk to them about it." 

"I'm not going to tell my boyfriends' parents they're being dickheads, Lou." 

"Word it differently, then" Louis insisted. "Make them see what they're doing is wrong and for nobody's best." 

"Yeah, I might do something like that" Zayn muttered thoughtfully. 

"Just end this. Harry says it's sad to watch you two stare at each other longingly in class. Don't look so surprised! Haz said you probably think you're only doing it when no one's watching but he noticed anyway." 

"Shit." Zayn furrowed his brows in worry. "If he sees, others might too. I really need to fix this, don't I?" 

"Really, Z" Louis sighed, dramatically flaunting his hands. "That's what I've been trying to tell you for the past 15 minutes." 

- 

The day of the parents-teacher-conference arrived quicker than Zayn had hoped, leaving him a bundle of nerves by midday. 

When he prepared for the first parents to arrive at 5pm, his hands were actually shaking. He tried taking calming breaths, telling himself there was no need to be this nervous. Still, he felt like there was a lot on the line, like this talk could be decisive for his and Niall's future. He hadn't told Niall he planned on doing anything, and Niall hadn't mentioned the day at all, obviously avoiding it. 

Zayn fought through the first few parents visiting him, trying hard to be attentive and the teacher they expected him to be. 

And then, Mr and Mrs Horan walked in. They both had grim expressions on their faces and Zayn's hands started shaking again. 

"Good evening Mr and Mrs Horan" he said and hated how nervous his voice sounded. 

"Mr Malik" Mr Horan said and it stung more than Zayn expected. They'd easily called him "Zayn" last time they'd met. 

"You know why we're here, I suppose" he continued, his stance showed repulsion and Zayn wished he was anywhere else but in that classroom with those people. Mrs Horan hadn't said anything yet, she seemed to hover behind her husband, just watching. 

"I suppose I do, yes." 

"I sincerely hope you've left my son alone recently. I'm disgusted by your doings so far, what did you think, making a good kid do something plain wrong? I should probably go to the school board with this!" Zayn took a deep breath, trying to swallow his anger. This was it, his only chance of convincing Niall's parents they had gotten the wrong idea. 

"Look, Mr Horan" he started. "I understand you care about Niall and are trying to do what's best for your son. But you need to understand, I didn't  _make_  him do anything. We met at the summer fair, as you know, and Niall told me he was 18. Wait, that sounds like I'm trying to blame him, which I am absolutely not. I'm just saying, neither of us cared about the other's age or occupation, we cared about _each_ _other_ , right from the start. I want you to know that I love your son more than I've ever loved anyone, the way I feel about him is completely new to me. And that is very scary, it is for both of us. But when we're together, all of the stuff around us doesn't matter. See, when we found out I was going to be Niall's teacher we talked about it, we tried not seeing each other for a while, but it was impossible. He means the world to me, and I intend to make him happy for as long as he'll have me. And right now, with this situation, he doesn't seem very happy." 

"He's our son, we know what's best -" 

"With all due respect, Mr Horan" Zayn interrupted. "I don't think you do. I understand he's your child, but he's not technically a  _child_  anymore. He knows what he wants and what's best for him, and doesn't just accept the things you say are right. He was so hopeful before he told you a couple of weeks ago. He told me you're his parents and you love him, you'd understand that we love each other and we can't just give that up. You crushed that hope when you made him stop seeing me, and he's hurting. As am I, but I'm aware that I'm not the person you should care about in this." He took a deep breath and looked both of Niall's parents in the eyes. Mr Horan's were still hard as steel, while Mrs Horan seemed a bit shaken up. "I'm begging you, please think about what you're doing to Niall. He's all I care about, I swear to you, I would never take advantage of him, in any way. I genuinely, deeply love him." 

Zayn stopped talking and realized how hard he was breathing. He'd literally just spilled his soul to those people, there was nothing else he could do.  

"Leave my son alone." The harsh words coming from Mr Horan made Zayn's heart drop and he felt his face fall.  

"Bobby..." Mrs Horan started. 

"No. We're going." He grabbed his wife's arm and pulled her out of the room. 

Zayn's legs gave in under him and he sunk to the floor, burying his face in his hands. He could still feel Mrs Horan's eyes on him, but he couldn't hold in the sob that made its way out of his throat. Had he just ruined any chance they'd ever had? 

- 

When Zayn could finally leave school about an hour later, his chest physically hurt from having to keep up the professional facade although he felt like crying and throwing things against walls. 

He got home and immediately dialled Niall's number, not caring about their arrangement that Niall only rang him when his parents were away. 

"Zayn?" the strained, thick sound of Niall's voice told him right away that Niall already knew. 

"What have they told you, baby?" 

"Nothing" Niall said quietly. "They've been fighting since they came home and from what I hear mum is trying to convince dad not to shoot you down so quickly...I think she wants to give us a chance, babe." 

"But your dad doesn't." 

"No." Niall's voice sounded pained and Zayn felt a pang in his own chest. He knew how much Niall loved and admired his father and he could only imagine how hurtful his behaviour was for Niall. 

"I don't want to make you choose between me and your dad, Ni. That wouldn't be fair" he said, his eyes stinging with unshed tears. All of this was so unfair! What had they done to deserve this? 

"I'd choose you." It was quiet, just a whisper over the phone line, but Zayn heard it. 

He let out a strangled sob, couldn't physically hold it in, although the last thing he wanted to do is make this worse by crying. 

"I love you so much, so, so much" he whispered back, his whole body aching for Niall. "But I couldn't do that. He's your dad, Niall." 

"And you're my boyfriend. He'd get over it, I'm sure he would." 

"Are you sure?" Zayn felt his hope coming back and thought that probably wasn't the best idea, but he couldn't stop it. 

"Look, this may sound stupid since I'm still kinda young and I don't have much experience at all, but Zayn. You're the love of my life. I don't want to be without you." 

His heart felt ready to jump out of his chest and he gripped the phone so hard his knuckles turned white.  "Niall..." Zayn couldn't even get anything else out, he felt like this day had been too much, a rollercoaster of too many emotions. 

Niall groaned on the other end of the line. "'m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I didn't mean to. It's...okay if you, if you don't, you know, feel the same." 

"No, no, baby" Zayn choked out. "I do feel the same, I really do. It's just that I'm slightly overwhelmed right now, like it's just been too much today. I've been on edge all day and then absolutely devastated and you just...I don't know, as cheesy as that sounds, but you just made me the happiest man alive." 

Niall let out a laugh, bright and happy, the one Zayn loved best but hadn't heard in far too long. 

"I love you" he said again. 

"I love you too" Niall said back. "We'll figure this out, yeah? We'll find a way." 

"Yeah" Zayn said and his heart felt lighter than it had in months. "We will." 

- 

A couple of days passed and Zayn and Niall still hadn't seen each other outside of school. They'd decided it'd be better to give Niall's dad a few more days to warm up to the idea before they'd start seeing each other again, especially since Niall's mum hadn't said anything to him either. 

Until one afternoon, when Zayn was sitting in his flat and going over some essays, there was a knock on his door. Surprised, he got up, wondering who it could be. The only people who visited him on their own and without announcing it were Niall and Louis, but it obviously couldn't be Niall and Louis had a lecture as far as he knew. 

Curiously, he opened his door and stood face to face with Maura Horan. 

"Mrs Horan" he said surprised. 

"Hello, Zayn." She offered him a small smile. "Can I come in for a minute?" 

"Umm...sure" Zayn said, taking a step back and allowing get to enter his flat. He led her to his lounge, both of them sitting down slightly uncomfortable. 

"I realize you're probably quite angry with me and my husband right now" Mrs Horan started. "So I appreciate you being willing to talk to me." 

Zayn shrugged and smiled a little. "I wouldn't say I'm angry at you per se. I do understand where you're coming from. I guess I'm more angry at fate or god or whatever it is that got us into this mess in the first place." 

"You're a very sensible young man." She smiled again. "And I can see that you love Niall, just as he loves you. I mean, I noticed that quite a while ago, and maybe I should've realized sooner that keeping you apart now wasn't the right thing to do. But you see, it really shocked us when Niall confessed. Relationships between teachers and students are something you hear about on the news, and it's always something bad. I think we focused on those bad connotations instead of on your love and that you're not the typical teacher/student-constellation like the ones that get to the news. You’re not that much older than Niall and you’re right, the most important part about this is that you didn’t know you were going to be his teacher.” Zayn listened to her, and with each word his heart lifted a bit. “I decided that I’m not going to keep you apart any longer, I want Niall to be happy, and it’s obvious that you do make him happy.”

Zayn couldn’t help himself, he got up, crossing the space between them and hugged Maura tightly. “Thank you” he said, and even to his own ears, his voice sounded shaky. “Thank you so much.”

She patted his back gently. “It’s alright, you don’t have to thank me, Zayn. I should be apologising.”

Zayn sat back down and Mrs Horan smiled at him. “My husband is still reluctant, but he’ll come around. He’s stubborn and he’ll play hard to get for a bit longer, but I know he’ll accept it eventually.”

“I’m really happy to hear that, Mrs Horan.”

“Please, I think it’s about time you called me Maura.”

“Okay.” Zayn gave her a genuine smile. “Of course, we still have to keep it a secret as long as Niall goes to school.”

“That won’t be a problem. It’s not that long to go after all. Have you two talked about what’s going to happen afterwards?”

“We have, actually. We plan on finding a city where we can both go – Niall to university and me to a school as a teacher – and maybe get a flat together” Zayn explained.

Maura clapped her hands excitedly. “Oh, lovely! Have you set sight on a particular city yet?”

-

After Maura had left with the promise to talk to Niall right away, wanting to tell her himself, Zayn let out a yell and started jumping around his flat, feeling happier than he had in a long time. He wasn’t usually someone to show his emotions like this, that was more Niall’s thing, but he couldn’t contain himself.

He soon grew impatient and started pacing in his hallway, waiting for Niall to contact him in some way. What took him so long?

He spun around when he heard a key in the lock.

Niall stood there, staring at him with wide, unbelieving eyes and a face-splitting grin. Zayn’s face probably mirrored his and for a second, they just stared each other.

Then, in a hurry to get closer, they both moved at the same time, their bodies colliding. They clung to each other like two people drowning, just standing there for a few minutes. Then Niall looked up at Zayn, their eyes meeting.

"I need you to kiss me."

It didn't take anything else for Zayn to dive down and latch their lips together in an almost desperate kiss.

"Wait, what about your dad?" Zayn said, breaking the kiss a few minutes later.

"What about him?"

"He still hasn't changed his mind, has he?"

"No, but mum said I shouldn't worry about him too much, he's just a stubborn old man" Niall explained, a grin spreading over his face. "She's going to talk some sense into him, and she basically shoved me out of the house to get to you, so I think we're alright."

"You sure?" Zayn asked.

"Absolutely." And just like that, he picked Niall up and carried him - bridal style - into his bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback of any kind makes me happy :) x


	8. Strong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Sorry for the 2-week-wait, I'm a bit stressed out with exams right now....got the first one done today though, so I rewarded myself (and you) with this.  
> There's a time-jump in here, but you'll see what I'm talking about when you get there. I also put in the reason for the title of the story in here in a very sappy way. Sorry about that.  
> Sorry to the reviewer who wanted smut, I tried but it turned out the least sexy thing ever, so I didn't post it :(  
> Hope you like it anyway! x

A couple of days later, Zayn received a text during his break.

**Me dad wants you t have dinner with us !! This is it i kno it !! love youuuuu xxxxxxxxx**

Zayn's smile was impossibly wide, both because of what this text was saying and the amount of x's Niall had added. Then it hit him. He’d have to face Niall’s dad again.

_Really??? When? What should I wear? Is he going to make me pay for you or something? Do I have to go through a ritual??_

**Z seriosly wats wrong with you calm down !! You kno me dad hes not gona eat ya !**

_After our last meeting I'm not quite so sure anymore xx_

**Calm your shit hes gona behave i think mum proper scolded him**

_Okay tell me when I should come? I love you too xxxxxxx_

**Will do !!! Xxxxxxxxxxxx**

Zayn thought about how sappy they were being again, adding more kisses to their texts than regular letters, but he couldn't fight the smile.

The nervousness came back immediately though, he still wasn't so sure about seeing Niall's father again. He really wanted him to approve of their relationship and therefore wanted to leave the best impression he possibly could, which was a lot of pressure.

**Friday 8pm ? :) xx**

_Yeah okay, works for me xx_

**No smiley face ? :(**

_:):):):):):):):):):):):):):) happy? Xxx_

**Very xxxxx**

-

Zayn was standing in front of Niall's door, nervously fidgeting with the collar of his shirt.

He heard steps approaching and took a quick breath. No need to freak out.

"Zayn!" Maura exclaimed happily and pulled him into a short hug. "How lovely to have you here!"

"Thank you for inviting me" he smiled.

"Oh, it's all down to Bobby here" she said, pointing over her shoulder at her husband, who had come into the hallway too.

"Good evening, Mr Horan, thank you very much" Zayn said politely, holding out his hand in greeting.

Mr Horan grabbed and shook it a bit reluctantly. "Mr Malik" he nodded grumpily.

Zayn smiled nervously, Niall had told him his father would act up for a bit longer. Right in that awkward moment, they heard someone noisily coming down the stairs, and all three looked up to Niall.

"Z!" he shouted, a grin spreading over his features, making Zayn's heart speed up. "You're here!"

"I am." Who could not smile brightly at Niall in this situation?

When Niall reached him, grabbing for his hand, Zayn bent down slightly, planning on giving him a chaste kiss on the cheek, but Niall surprised him with a full-on smooch right on the lips.

Zayn's eyes widened in shock before fluttering closed, almost instinctively. He heard Maura make a noise that sounded a lot like a squeal, while her husband awkwardly coughed.

Quickly pulling away, Zayn gave Niall a soft smile before turning back to his parents, face red.

Maura smiled widely and gestured for them to come in, and Zayn was very thankful he didn't have to say anything. Niall hadn't let go of his hand and didn't really seem to plan on it any time soon, so Zayn just went with it. Not that he really minded.

Maura offered them sherry as an aperitif and went to get the bottle, while Niall got up to fetch the glasses, effectively leaving Zayn and Mr Horan alone in awkward silence.

Without knowing how and why and what to do, Zayn suddenly found himself in a staring match, unable to look away. After a while, Mr Horan nodded to himself, seemingly satisfied with what he had seen. Zayn didn't know whether it was good or bad.

"So, Zayn" Mr Horan's voice broke the silence, startling Zayn with the sudden use of his first name again. "If you hurt my boy, I will not hesitate to come after you and kill you very slowly and very painfully."

Despite the threatening words, Zayn couldn't hold his smile in. This was as much of a blessing as they'd get. "I don't intend on ever hurting him, Mr Horan. I'm going to work on making him happy until he gets sick of me."

"I wouldn't get sick of you, Zaynie!" Niall exclaimed, plopping down next to Zayn and immediately cuddling up to him.

Zayn put his arm around his boyfriend, smiling down at him fondly. "I really hope so."

-

"That was delicious, Maura, thank you very much" Zayn said after dinner, when they had put everything in the dishwasher. He'd helped despite of her protests ("You're the guest, you stay seated!"), he was going for "he'd make a good son-in-law" after all.

"Oh, you're welcome to come back anytime you want, love. We've loved having you here! Thank you for helping clear up, that really wasn't necessary."

"It's no bother, really" Zayn smiled and turned to Niall's dad. "Thank you for a lovely evening, Mr Horan."

"It's Bobby" he said, not looking Zayn in the eye. Niall squealed and hugged his father, while Maura kissed him on the cheek with a fond eye-rolling. Zayn just stood there smiling at them with the goofiest grin ever, until Niall and Maura suddenly tugged him in and he found himself in the strangest but most beautiful group hug ever.

Not much later, Zayn said his goodbyes to Niall's parents and Niall accompanied him outside.

For a few minutes, they just hugged each other, and Zayn could feel Niall's smile on his neck. ”That went well, didn’t it?” he asked, his breath tickling Zayn.

“Much better than I expected” Zayn admitted. “I am _so_ happy right now.”

“Me too.” A soft kiss was pressed to his throat. “Nothing can stop us now.”

Zayn pulled away a little and gently cradled Niall’s face with his hands. “Never again. I won’t let anything come between us.” He leant forward and captured Niall’s lips in a soft kiss. “I feel like, when I’m with you, there’s nothing that can go wrong, like I’m _stronger_ when you’re there. Does that make any sense?”

“It does” Niall nodded. “I need you with me to feel that way too, and that used to scare me. But I don’t care anymore, I’m not scared of my love for you anymore.”

They stared at each other for the longest time, eyes soft and full of love. Then, as if reading each other’s minds, they both moved at the same time and their lips collided a bit harder than originally intended, ruining any chance of them keeping it chaste.

They full-on snogged for a couple of minutes, standing in the dim light in front of Niall’s house, completely immersed in each other. They broke apart when they heard a rapping at the window though, and Niall’s dad yelling: “We can still see you from here if we want to, boys!”

Zayn blushed profusely and let go of Niall. “That’s my cue to leave, I guess.” He smiled sheepishly. “Goodnight, love, sleep tight.”

“Get home safe” Niall said, pulling him down for one more, short kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

-

“When I was first asked to sing a couple of songs today, I was very nervous” Niall said into the microphone, looking down at all the people in front of the stage. “I didn’t know what to sing, what does one play at a graduation? I picked out a couple of songs I thought would send the right message for today, like growing up and leaving home and stuff.” He looked around at his classmates, some of them nodding. Harry gave him a thumbs-up and Niall smiled at him. “The first song I’m going to play though, has nothing to do with either of that. It’s about love, and I guess that’s kind of an important topic for us, too. Many of us have fallen in love at some point during our time at this school, so it’s not completely misplaced. At least I hope so. I wrote this song myself, it’s about that one person that means more to me than anything else. You know who you are.” Niall’s gaze flicked over Harry and Liam in the front row with the rest of his classmates, his parents, Louis, and finally settled on Zayn, their eyes meeting. Zayn was practically glowing, and Niall knew he wouldn’t be able to look anywhere else during his performance. “This is ‘ _Strong_ ’.”

Niall started strumming his guitar, his fingers confidently finding the chords for the intro.

When he started to sing, his eyes never left Zayn’s.

_My hands,_  
Your hands  
Tied up  
Like two ships.  
  
Drifting  
Weightless.  
Waves try to break it.  
I'd do anything to save it.  
Why is it so hard to say it?  
  
My heart,  
Your heart  
Sit tight like book ends.  
  
Pages  
Between us  
Written with no end.  
So many words we're not saying.  
Don't wanna wait 'til it's gone.  
You make me strong.  
  
I'm sorry if I say, "I need you."  
But I don't care,  
I'm not scared of love.  
'Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker.  
Is that so wrong?  
Is it so wrong  
That you make me strong?  
  
Think of  
How much  
Love that's been wasted.  
  
People  
Always  
Trying to escape it.  
Move on to stop their heart breaking.  
But there's nothing I'm running from.  
You make me strong.  
  
I'm sorry if I say, "I need you."  
But I don't care,  
I'm not scared of love.  
'Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker.  
Is that so wrong?  
Is it so wrong?  
  
So, baby, hold on to my heart, oh, oh.  
Need you to keep me from falling apart.  
I'll always hold on.  
'Cause you make me strong.  
  
I'm sorry if I say, "I need you."  
But I don't care.  
I'm not scared of love.  
'Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker.  
Is that so wrong?  
Is it so wrong?  
  
I'm sorry if I say, "I need you."  
But I don't care,  
I'm not scared of love.  
'Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker.  
Is that so wrong?  
Is it so wrong  
That you make me strong?  
  
I'm sorry if I say, "I need you."  
But I don't care,  
I'm not scared of love.  
'Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker.  
Is that so wrong?  
Is it so wrong  
That you make me strong?

The whole room burst into cheers and applause when Niall finished his song, and he finally tore his gaze away from Zayn who – as he could definitely see – had tears in his eyes, Louis rubbing his shoulder comfortingly.

Quite shaken up himself, Niall tried to concentrate on someone else, his parents this time, to sing the other two songs he had prepared. He managed to get through them fine and received just as much praise as he had for his own song.

He bowed smiling and walked off the stage to sit next to Harry and Liam, receiving numerous congratulatory pats on back and shoulders.

His phone buzzed as soon as he sat down.

_Was this the secret you didn't want to tell me about??_

Niall looked over his shoulder, finding Zayn's eyes a couple of rows behind him. They shared a long glance and a small smile before Niall turned back to his phone.

**Yeh. What did ya think?**

_I loved it. I love you._

**Love you too ! It wasn't like exactly our story but it was still tru**

_You make me strong too. xxx_

**I rly wanna kiss ya rn**

_Soon xx_

**Countin down xxx**

Niall tried listening to the speeches different students and staff members were giving, but his attention kept flickering back to Zayn.

Time seemed to drag on until they were finally called to the stage one by one to receive their diploma.

Niall was the first of his immediate friends due to his last name. When he got his diploma, he could distinctly hear Louis and his father cheer for him, while the rest of his people just looked up proudly, clapping enthusiastically. He waved at his parents and winked at Zayn before he left the stage again, waiting to cheer for Liam and Harry.

And then it was over, finally.

Niall found himself engulfed by his mum's arms, her tear-streaked cheeks pressing against his. "You're not my baby anymore, aren't you? You're all grown up now, been for quite a while. I just didn't realise it until now."

"We're so proud of you, Niall" his dad said, patting his shoulder around his mum's arm.

Niall hugged them both tightly and turned around to see Harry and Louis snogging happily, his eyes roaming on, looking for a familiar quiff of black hair. He found it eventually, Zayn evidently looking for him too.

Niall started pushing his way through to him, not really caring who saw them anymore.

"Hey" he said when he reached Zayn.

"Hey yourself." Their hands gravitated towards each other, meeting in the middle. "I'm really proud of you."

"Can we go somewhere a bit more private?" Niall didn't think he could go another minute without kissing him.

Zayn nodded. "Yeah, sure."

They unclasped their hands, reluctantly, and started making their way through the crowd of celebrating students and teachers. Occasionally, someone would stop them to talk to one or the other, but no one asked them what they were doing together.

"Where are you off to?" Josh, one of Zayn's students who Niall sometimes talked to, asked.

"Mr Malik was gonna, umm...give me back one of my essays he forgot" Niall lied not quite as smoothly as he had planned to.

"Yes, I kept it to go over it once more, since we didn't agree on the grade, and then I forgot to give it back" Zayn came to his rescue.

"Oh, okay" Josh said and turned away again.

Niall sighed. He'd finally graduated and still couldn't tell people he was dating Zayn. Zayn smiled at him warmly, nudging him with his elbow. "Come on then."

They left the crowded hall and Zayn took Niall's hand when they were alone in the hallway.

"I'm so sorry you still have to lie about me" he said, caressing the back of Niall's hand with his thumb.

"It's alright" Niall smiled, giving his hand a squeeze in return. "And even if it wasn't, there's nothing you could do about it. This is not your fault."

"You still deserve better. You deserve someone who's able to shout their love for you from the rooftops."

"I know you'd do all of that if you could, Z. And you will, once we leave here." He gave Zayn's hand a gentle tug, pulling him into his empty classroom.

"But not before that. You had to lie about me to Josh."

"I don't care" Niall said. "He doesn't know I love you, but the people I care about do, and that's all that matters." He closed the door behind them. "And now kiss me please, I've waited far too long already."

Zayn happily complied.

-

Their snogging session was interrupted by a buzzing of Niall's phone that they both felt due to their close proximity.

Niall groaned into Zayn's mouth and bit down on his lips lightly once more before pulling away.

"Suppose that's me mum asking where we went off to" he sighed, trying to wriggle his hand into his pocket, despite of Zayn still holding him impossibly close, to retrieve the phone.

"Zayn" he whined when the other male didn't loosen his grasp even a little.

"Not ready to let you go just yet" Zayn mumbled into his neck.

"Well you'll have more than enough time for that later" Niall chuckled, tracing the bumps of Zayn's spine with two fingers. "I do plan on staying over tonight."

"You do?" Zayn straightened up to look into Niall's face.

"'course" Niall grinned. "Now would you let me go so I can at least look at my phone?"

"Alright" Zayn said grumpily, kissing the corner of his mouth anyway before reluctantly letting him go.

Niall stepped back just enough to reach his phone and unlocked it, laughing loudly when he read his mum's text.

_I know you deserve a celebration but we're missing you here so could you please come back? Zayn can come too x_

"I'm not sure what my mum thinks we're doing" Niall giggled, showing Zayn his phone.

Before Zayn could respond, his phone vibrated again with a text from Louis.

**P sure your mum thinks youre havin sex so you better come back looking meticulous**

"Oh god" Niall groaned, mortified while Zayn laughed.

**_Come backkkkk your mum dosent belive usssss_ **

"How did he even graduate?" Zayn muttered, looking at Liam's text. "Come on, we should probably make sure your mum doesn't stick to her false assumptions."

-

When they got back, almost everyone had left, but Louis, Liam and Harry - and their families - were still waiting with Niall's family.

"There you are!" Maura exclaimed with a wide smile. "Had fun, boys?"

"Muuuuuum" Niall groaned. "We didn't _do_ anything."

Niall didn't say that her assumptions didn't exactly help the pictures that had been popping up in his head all day, fantasies that he should not have during his graduation and with his parents in the same room.

Zayn pressing him against the classroom door, his hand wrapped around his dick, pumping slowly.

Zayn bending him over his desk, buried deep inside of him.

Niall coughed awkwardly and shifted, forcing his attention back on his mum talking to Zayn, who gave him a funny look.

"We're all going for lunch together" Liam said, appearing at his side. "You coming?"

Zayn and Niall took Zayn's car, and once they were seated, Zayn asked: "So what happened back there? Kinda zoned out for a bit, didn't you?"

His tone and the hand he put a bit too far up Niall's thigh suggested he knew exactly what had happened.

"Don't" Niall hissed and pushed his hand away. "I'm not gonna go to that restaurant with a stiffy."

"Aww babe" Zayn chuckled. "I'd know a way of helping you with that but we're nearly at the restaurant and everyone would wonder what took us so long."

"Not helping" Niall said through gritted teeth, trying to concentrate on the least sexy things he could think of.

Zayn laughed and patted his knee once more. "Sorry, love."

"Just let me...just for a minute." He knew he wasn't making much sense in the current situation, but he was rolling down the window, trying to breathe deeply.

Fucking hormones and his damn vivid imagination.

When they pulled up outside the restaurant, he had calmed down and was feeling confident about his composure again.

"Alright, love?" Zayn asked, shutting off the engine and looking over at him.

"Fine" Niall nodded and Zayn leaned over to peck him on the lips.

"Good." He pulled away again, but Niall grabbed the back of his neck and smashed their lips together once more, going for the more passionate version.

Zayn didn't protest but instead started nibbling on Niall's bottom lip happily.

There was a knock on the half-open window on Niall's side and they heard Louis calling: "Stop snogging in there, you insufferable, lovesick idiots!"

They both sighed simultaneously and pulled away. Zayn smoothed Niall's collar and gave him a kiss on the nose before moving to get out of the car, even opening Niall's door for him.

"Such a gentleman" Niall teased and took his hand as they strolled towards the rest of the group.

"I aim to please."

-

The restaurant was small and they were a big group, which meant there wasn't much space for anyone else. Niall was relieved to see there was no one from school there, he really didn't feel like making up a lie as to why his English teacher accompanied them. Someone had obviously told Harry's and Liam's families about them, since they looked at them curiously, but not surprised.

It was incredibly nice not having to hide, he loved being able to walk around holding Zayn's hand, having Zayn's arm around the back of his chair, nobody saying anything when he leaned forward and pecked his boyfriends' lips.

If this was what his life was going to be like, Niall was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this was the last chapter. I'm going to post an epilogue though, so stay tuned :)


	9. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...this is it. Last chapter. Thank you to everyone who commented or left kudos, I appreciate everything! Thank you for sticking with me through this story that turned out to be about three times as long as I had planned. It's been great!

**20 months later**

"Get up, Zaynie, your students won't wait for you!" The cheery voice was right next to Zayn's ear and he groaned, turning his head on the pillow away from the disturbance.

There was a sigh and then a heavy weight plopped down right onto him. He groaned again and sleepily opened one eye.

Niall was grinning at him, splayed out on top of him, wearing only a pair of sweatpants.

"Good morning sunshine" he grinned, pressing a kiss to Zayn's chin.

Zayn mumbled something incoherent and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, trying to pull him under the covers with him, but Niall wriggled out of his arms and got up.

"We'll have none of that" he said sternly. "Get up, or you'll be late for work."

"Your fault" Zayn mumbled.

"Ex _cu_ se me?" Niall exclaimed.

"You dragged me to one of your stupid parties _again_!"

"You know you love them. And besides, drinking that much beer was your own decision."

Zayn groaned again and sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. “Will you at least join me in the shower?”

“You’re insatiable, you know that?” Niall laughed, but already pushed down his sweatpants, giving Zayn a very good reason to get up faster.

Later, over a rushed breakfast, Zayn groaned: "Who plans those parties anyway? Why do you have them on a Thursday? Last time I checked that was still a weekday."

"It's for the poor commuting students who go home every weekend, so they get to come too" Niall explained for probably the hundredth time, blowing on his tea to cool it. They had a similar discussion almost every Friday.

Zayn grumbled into his mug, making Niall chuckle fondly. "Don't forget to brush your teeth" he reminded Zayn teasingly. "Don't need your students to know what you've been up to last night and this morning."

"Yeah, yeah" Zayn made, trying to keep up his grumpy facade before he dumped his mug and cereal bowl into the sink and went to brush his teeth.

When he got back, Niall was still munching on his breakfast. Zayn shrugged on his coat and dropped a kiss on the top of his blond boyfriends' head.

"Have a good day" Niall smiled, holding out his cheek for Zayn to plant a kiss there too.

"You too" Zayn called over his shoulder, already reaching for the door. "Love you!"

"Love you too!" Zayn smiled to himself and closed the door behind him, buttoning up his coat against the harsh London weather in February.

While he hurried towards the nearest bus stop, he mused about how terribly domestic Niall and he had become over the one and a half years they'd been living together in their small flat in New Cross, south-east London. They had been very lucky to find their flat, an affordable one-bedroom place that still had a kitchen and a bathroom, even enough space for a small sofa, a telly and a bookshelf in the small living area. It was also close to both Niall's university and the school Zayn taught at.

New Cross was a great place to live, it wasn't connected to the London underground but they'd made up for that with a great bus service and overground trains, and it had a great music and arts scene, which was perfect for both of them. Zayn sometimes dragged Niall along to gallery openings or poetry slams, and other nights they'd go to small concerts or open mic nights and sometimes Niall would even sing something himself. It had all worked out so perfectly that Zayn often still thought it was just a dream.

His phone buzzed with a text from Niall when he was sat on the bus.

**Don't forget were headin off t the airport at 4 !**

_How could I forget? We're going home!_

**I thought this was yer home now**

_It is, but we're going to /your/ home which kind of makes it my home too_

**Stop sendin me cheesy texts ya loon ! And tbh london is my home to since your here**

_Stop sending cheesy texts back! Get back to whatever important stuff you were doing_

**Very funny. Ya kno ill be packin your stuff all day bc you were too lazy t do it yesterday**

_I love youuuu xxx_

**Not makin it better**

_:((((((( im gonna blow you as soon as im home?_

**No time for that horny prick**

_In the airport bathroom?_

**Shut up**

_:D_

**love you too**

_Yesss!!! Xx_

**Your such a child**

_You love me_

_(and im older)_

**I know**

**I kno that too**

_Gotta gooo I'm at school :( I'll hurry home, love you xxxx_

**Yeh yeh...love you too xx**

-

The plane touched down with a rumble, slowing down almost immediately, and Zayn slowly released his death grip on Niall's hand.

"Alright?" Niall asked, rubbing Zayn's thigh comfortingly.

Zayn nodded. "It's just the starting and landing I've got a problem with."

"I know. I've had my hand crushed plenty of times."

"Sorry about that" Zayn winced, placing a soft kiss on the knuckles of Niall's reddened hand.

"It's okay, really. You can crush my hand as many times as you want."

"Careful, Horan, I'll hold you to that."

"I do hope so. And now let's get off this bloody plane."

-

Niall's parents were both waiting for them in the arrivals hall, and Niall let go of Zayn's hand to skip over to them as soon as he spotted them. Zayn smiled and trailed behind him a bit more slowly.

“It’s so good to have you back, my love” Maura said, hugging Zayn tightly after he had kissed her on both cheeks.

Zayn squeezed her, wholeheartedly reciprocating the sentiment. He and Niall had spent Christmas in Bradford with his family and New Years’ in London with Harry, Louis and Liam, so they hadn’t seen Niall’s parents since November.

“Good to see you, son” Bobby said, shaking his hand and squeezing his shoulder affectionately. Zayn still wasn’t entirely over the feeling of Niall’s father calling him “son”.

“You too, Bobby.”

“Now, how’s life in London? Everything working fine?”

Zayn looked over at Niall chatting animatedly to his mum as they started walking towards the entrance, then looked back at Bobby. “Yes, all good. I took your advice on that flickering light…”

-

It was still a bit odd for Zayn, entering his old flat as a visitor.

Louis had moved in there once Zayn and Niall had found their apartment in London, and Harry had moved in with him over the summer. They both went to the uni in their home town but planned on moving to London after Harry's graduation too. Liam was working as a fireman - a gap year had turned into two - but had already applied for uni in London. The odds were good that they'd all be in the same city again before too long.

"So?" Louis asked, hopping on the kitchen counter next to where Zayn was standing. "Nervous to see your old students again?"

"I wouldn't call it nervous...slightly worried to meet them as my boyfriends' ex-classmates instead of former students though."

"Pretty sure most of them already know it anyway. There've been plenty of pictures on Facebook."

Zayn groaned. “I didn’t start that.”

“It’s what you gotta expect if you hang out with friends who take photos.”

“Or people who decide to ruin your reputation by uploading an inappropriate picture. I changed my settings after that.”

Louis laughed, throwing his head back. “Are you talking about that picture of you and Niall basically having sex on the dance floor? That was hilarious!”

“It wasn’t that bad! And it wasn’t funny at all! My mum has Facebook too.”

“You couldn’t have gotten any closer without taking your clothes off.”

Zayn groaned again. “It’s not my fault if Niall is dancing so fucking sexy.”

Niall’s head snapped up where he was sitting with Harry and Liam and he walked over to them. “Are you still blaming me for that picture, babe? It couldn’t have been up for more than a couple of hours, who should’ve actually seen it?”

“Well I did” Louis chirped with an evil glint in his eyes. “And I saved it.”

“What?!” Niall and Zayn exclaimed at the same time.

“It was photographic gold, how could I not? Besides, it’s perfect to show at your wedding.”

“You wouldn’t” Niall gasped.

“Please, Nialler, you know me. Nothing can stop me.” He lifted his finger to shush Zayn, who had already opened his mouth. “Nope, even killing me won’t help, Zayners. Those two are in and have copies to take over my part if something happens to me.” He pointed his thumb at Harry and Liam who waved at them with innocent smiles.

“I hate you so much” Zayn breathed.

“Love you too” Louis sing-songed and skipped away to sit on his boyfriend’s lap.

“We chose the wrong friends” Niall sighed and stepped into Zayn’s arms, nuzzling his neck.

“Definitely. But at least we can be sure our wedding won’t be boring.”

Niall giggled. “If we let any of them have a speech it sure won’t. Actually, even if we don’t allow them to say anything, they’ll find a way to completely embarrass us.”

He pressed his lips to Zayn's throat in a soft kiss and Zayn moved his hand up to play with the short hair in Niall's neck.

"I'm really happy, you know that?" he murmured.

Niall tightened his arms around him. "Me too."

-

"School reunion, yay" Niall sighed as Zayn pulled up outside of the school. "Can't pretend I've missed this place very much."

"Me neither" Zayn agreed. "London is far too exciting to miss any of this."

"What do you think people are gonna say?" Niall asked quietly, not making a move to get out of the car.

"I don't know...like Louis said yesterday, they probably won't be too surprised. We might still get stares and whispers, though, we have to expect that."

"Alright" Niall sighed. "I think I can deal with that."

Zayn grabbed his hand and squeezed it lightly. "We can. Together."

Niall smiled. "Sounds good to me. Come on then, let's face this storm."

They got out of the car and walked towards the school hand in hand.

When they entered, most of the other people seemed to be there already and not few heads turned their way. Niall held on tighter to Zayn's hand, trying to ignore the whispering that arose, audible even over the music that was playing in the background.

Liam saw them and walked over, completely ignoring their curious former classmates. "Hey you two" he said and hugged first Niall and then Zayn. "Ignore those douchebags, they're probably just jealous."

Niall grinned. "Thanks, Li."

It was slightly better after that, as people seemed to get over the initial shock of Zayn actually showing up with Niall. The invitation had said to bring a plus one, but no one seemed to have expected Zayn to come.

After a few minutes, one of Niall's acquaintances, a girl called Amy, came over to them. "Niall, hi! It's so good to see you! And...Mr Malik."

"Please" Zayn said. "It's Zayn. I'm not here as a former teacher."

Amy blushed. "Um, sure. Zayn." She looked a bit awkward and turned to Niall again. "So, Niall, how are you? I don't see you around here very much anymore."

"Well, we live in London so we're not coming back here that often" Niall explained. "And I'm great, actually. Very happy. What about you?"

They talked for a bit and then Zayn got dragged away by Louis, leaving Niall alone with Amy. "So" she said, looking in Zayn's direction and Niall knew what was coming. "You and Mr Malik? Isn't that a bit weird? How did it even happen?"

Niall sighed. "Actually, it's not weird at all. When I met him, he wasn't my teacher yet, he was just a nice guy who I met at the summer fair. Him being my teacher caused a few problems of course, but we got through that as you can see."

"Are you saying you were dating throughout our last school year?!" Amy sounded incredulous, but Niall didn't really know what the point of hiding it was anymore.

"Yeah, we were. It was complicated at times, and we fought a lot, but in the end all that matters is that we love each other, right?"

Amy was silent for a few seconds. "Wow. I don't really know what to think, because that is the most romantic thing ever and it sounds like something straight from a movie, but at the same time I can't stop thinking of him as a _teacher_."

"Imagine what it was like for me when my boyfriend suddenly stood in front of me as my English teacher."

Giggling, Amy put her hand on Niall's arm. "I'm very sorry for drooling over your boyfriend the whole year through."

Niall laughed. "That's okay, I completely understand. Besides, I'm willing to bet you weren't the only one."

"That's true. You got yourself a very good looking guy there."

"I know" Niall said and looked over to Zayn with a fond smile. Zayn turned his head and grinned back, sending him a wink. "I'm very lucky."

Amy watched their exchange. "You're really cute, you and Zayn. I don't know why I thought it'd be a problem before, but I realise now that you are one of the cutest couples I've ever seen and you fully deserve each other."

"Thank you, Amy. That means a lot, really. I was expecting to be judged endlessly."

"Well, to be completely honest with you, I was kind of judging you before we talked. Sorry about that."

"I can deal. We've had our fair share of judgment, so I guess I'm used to it by now."

"You shouldn't have to! I'll make sure no one here keeps judging you." And with that, she turned around and disappeared into the crowd.

Niall felt a bit overwhelmed but didn't try to go after her, instead turning and looking for Zayn. He found him soon enough, in a crowd that had gathered around Louis who was animatedly telling a story.

He stepped next to him, slipping his hand into his boyfriend's hand. Zayn turned towards him with a tender smile. "You okay?"

"Mhm, fine" Niall smiled, pressing his forehead against Zayn's shoulder for a moment. "I have a feeling the whole town's gonna know our story tomorrow though."

"Did you tell Amy - resident gossip girl - our story?" Zayn asked, clearly amused.

"I figured it'd be easiest" Niall grinned. "We won't ever have to answer any questions ourselves again."

"You got a point there" Zayn said, wrapping his arm around Niall's waist and tugging him closer. "Wanna give the curious people who have been staring at us all evening a proper show?"

"Are you asking for permission to kiss me?" Niall asked back, gripping Zayn's biceps with one hand and resting the other one on the side of his neck. "You should know by now you never have to do that."

"Good to know" Zayn murmured and leaned in even further, pressing a feather light kiss to the corner of Niall's mouth.

Niall huffed and decidedly moved his head to kiss Zayn straight on the lips.

The kept it short and chaste, but people were still staring, all of them curious, but most seemed to be endeared.

“Keep going” Louis laughed. “Girls like watching two guys make out, believe me.”

“Thanks for that, Lou” Zayn said sarcastically. “My life is now complete thanks to all the mental images of you and Harry this gave me.”

Louis guffawed. “You’re welcome.”

“You know whatever he told you right now was probably shit and not true at all?” Harry asked when he approached them and eyed his boyfriend warily.

“You wound me, Hazza!” Louis exclaimed dramatically. “I tell nothing but the truth!”

“Sure.” Liam’s tone was dry. “You forget we’ve known you for a long time.”

“Zayn hasn’t!”

“It’s been long enough.”

“I really don’t know why I’m friends with you” Louis sighed.

“It’s because we’re fabulous and you can’t live without us” Niall joked.

“Hmmpf” Louis made and then looked around at all four of them. “It’s kinda true though. This is gonna sound cheesy as fuck but we’re at a school reunion so it’s okay. You are my best friends, and I can’t imagine my life without you.”

“Aww” Liam said and ruffled his hair, receiving a punch on the arm in return.

“I’ll have to agree with Lou” Zayn added. “I mean, I’m so insanely thankful for that summer fair, because it didn’t only give me the love of my life” Niall squeezed his hand tightly, “but also the best friends anyone could wish for. I just know that this isn’t something that’ll end anytime soon.”

“Not ever, if I can help it” Harry beamed, his arms tightly around Louis’ shoulders.

“This calls for a group hug, right?” Liam smiled, opening his arms wide.

The other four closed the circle, creating a tight huddle amongst the perplexed crowd, causing even more whispers than Zayn and Niall’s kiss had earlier. Not that they cared.

Life was good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate endings :( sorry if this is unbearably cheesy.  
> Follow me on tumblr (kissingziall) and stay tuned, I've got a couple of new things planned!  
> I'd love some feedback on what you thought of this as a whole :) hope to see you around (aka my other stories)! x


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